Slap Chop

Seriously. Have you ever? I am watching an infomercial featuring a product that claims to chop and dice anything....

I think I might like to have one, but the name turns me off!

You can see it here , it seems convincing.

Anyone Reading This?

Salam sisters!

Welcome to hijabification. I am hoping to dedicate this blog to all things hijabi!

I am a hijabi. I hope this serves as a connection to increased knowledge about modesty and practice. I want this endeavor to be fun, with a sprinkle of humor, a dash of cooking advice, a smattering of fashion, and lots of sensibility. I want this to be place where ideas and thoughts are exchanged in a positive and respectful blogger environment.

I have not figured out where I will find the time to do this :P

Should I just combine this with blog with "iMuslimah" and keep it simple? Should I just toss the idea of "hijabification"? I just seem to think that Hijabification is catchier and more interesting than iMuslimah. I realize it's not the about the name, but the content.

Comments & suggestions welcome and appreciated.

Good night,


Bucket List

Tagged by none, inspired by Organica & HijabiApprentice :)

  • Hajj with husband and son when he is old enough
  • Meet husbands family in person; travel to his homelandia <----my fave hijabiapprenticism
  • Buy a house with a private yard and pool
  • To be more charitable
  • Start something wonderful that outlives me.
  • Leave a legacy
  • Make a difference
  • Be re-united with my husband and son in jennah inshAllah
  • Become a better muslim, stellar wife and outstanding mother
  • Improve my practice and application of Islam
  • Excel in the field of photography
  • Buy a home for my mother so she can retire
  • Swim in the ocean and build sand castles with my son (this is a thorn in my side!)
  • Get back to the carribean
  • Volunteer more often
  • Have a winter cabin in the White Mountains of New Hampshire
  • Summer home in Tunis
  • Learn Arabic, Spanish and French
  • See the Alps, Rockies, Atlas and Himalayan mountains
  • Hike through Oregon and Washington, from the coast to Mt Ranier
  • Drive cross country for photographic purposes
  • Publish my own coffee table photo book
  • White water raft through the Grand Canyon
  • Witness Aurora Borealis
  • Learn to play the harmonica
  • Swim with dolphins in their natural habitat
  • Dog sled in Alaska
  • Take better care of myself
  • Be more patientwith others
  • Improve cooking skills
  • Get another college degree
  • Take up cycling and surfing
  • Take piano and guitar lessons
  • See all the National Parks
  • Begin posting my second blog "Hijabification"
  • Launch a photojournalistic website with a team of hijabi photographers

There you have it, the most recurrent wishes in my mind that seem meaningful to me! I wonder if Hijabification should be the photojournalistic site....any thoughts?

Gotta go, iMonkey requests my attention.

Assalamu alaykum.

Baby's First Shopping Cart Ride

This is my little man. Tonight my husband and I took him food shopping as usual, but this time, he sat up in the shopping cart like a big boy! He is 7 months old now, and sitting up really well. We purchased one of those quilted shopping cart inserts and it is great! Its a comfy and sanitary way to keep him happy. He LOVED it. He sat in that seat, like he was the mayor of the grocery store. He has a big silly round head and a long neck, and well, he just kept staring at everyone and looking around, sort of like a meerkat. It was so precious and sweet. My husband and I kept crashing and bumping into things, as well as caused numerous traffic jams in the isles because we couldn't stop staring at him LOL.

Thank you Allah, for the sweetest little boy.


Salaams peeps.

Been real busy the past 2 weeks. I am now realizing this is my life, and it is only going to get busier as iBaby gets older!

Re: previous post "Five Minute Face", the Morgan Schick Hi-Def is drying my skin out, probably wont use it anymore.

The holidays are upon us all, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to get out from underneath the great opressor "Christmas". I find it to be a suffocating time of year, and I am looking forward to it's passing. Inshaallah I am eager to greet 2009!

My husband is miserable at his job. Alhamdulillah it is a job, but it is just awful. He is currently seeking new employment, so please keep us in your dua's.

Inshaallah I will meet my brother-in-law for the first time next week. Yay! My husband hasn't seen him in eight years. He is coming for a visit, and I am excited for my husband and my son. This should be a really joyful time. Thank you Allah.

iBaby is getting huge. Growing like a weed! Last well visit he weighed in at 19 lbs 11 oz and 29 1/2 inches long. That was three weeks ago. I am certain he is closer to 21lbs now. All of a sudden his sleeves are short and his onsies dont snap so easily. Mashaallah. He will be 7 months old next week. If he is in my husbands arms, he reaches out for me and vice vera- its a very cute game he likes to play with us. He also will lay his head on my should if I ask him "will you please give mommy a little hug?" He looks absolutely sublime in his red fleece feetie pajamas with monkeys all over them. May Allah bless his sweet little heart, he is the joy of my life.



Assalamu alaykum,

I pose a question fellow muslimahs: do you feel it is necessary for elementary aged girls to wear hijab to a muslim school (mainly pre-pubescent aged?) My little guy is only 6 months old, but the demand for muslim pre-school and grammar school is high because there aren't many instituions. I thought I would familiarize myself with what's available to us and what resources we will need. I happen to notice that the dress code requires hijabs for all girls. I don't have a daughter, but it did cause me to think.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I think it is very good for little girls to see the reasoning behind hijab at an early age, especially since I am a hijabi, and then on the other hand, I am not sure that a small child is really able to wrap their brain around the concept and practice, and therefore it wouldn't be meaningful to them. I never want my child to do something "just because" when it comes to something this important.

If Allah blesses me with a daughter someday, of course I want her to practice hijab, but I want her to feel empowered and choose to wear it. I don't want to mandate that she wear it. I believe that if I am a positive role model, and she is taught about the love and grace in Islam, and the importance of hijab/purity/preserving one's awra, I would hope that she would wear it with ease.

I feel wishy washy, what's your opinion? What is your experience? Do you think your reversion to Islam, or being born into a Muslim family is a factor?

Assalamu alaykum!

The Alleged Five Minute Face

Hello ladies:

I am in search of the ever-elusive five minute face. I have finally carved out 5 minutes for myself, and find it annoying that I cannot apply even moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss in five minutes. In my desperation, I tried a few new products, and I will rate them:

  • Morgen Schick Hi-Def Pre-Makeup Illuminator: Feels gritty, but actually gives skin a nice youthful glow. It's some kind of "half gel, half powder" concoction. Ive been using it alone, and I actually got three compliments, all agreeing that my skin seems to be looking fresh & renewed.
  • Morgen Schick Light Saver Eye Pen: Not so much. Its like gold glitter in a stick, and the shimmer seemed to accentuate fine lines I had never seen before. BUH-BYE!
  • Oil of Olay Total Effects 7: OK, this stuff is not going in the trash. It totally agrees with me, and I love it. Will include it in my post shower regimen to keep skin moisturized.
  • Bobbi Brown Shimmer Bricks: I've had them for a bit now, I wasn't crazy about them, and then while watching Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, I realized I was using it incorrectly! What a difference when used the way it's intended. These are definitely keepers: Rose, Bronze and Apricot. I heart finding yummy stuff in my collection that I forgot about.

So, if I moisturize, apply mascara, use the shimmer brick and apply a sheer gloss, it takes me exactly EIGHT minutes. I'll take it!

I feel that I am betraying my Bare Escentuals, my most favorite products, but they take more than 10 minutes to apply. I'll save that for a special occasion. I just want to look refreshed and feel like my old pre-baby self , without actually wearing pigmented cosmetics.

By George, I think I've done it *wink*

Now to resume the weight loss...........I got a little lazy after I stopped breastfeeding my little guy. You see, breastfeeding made me kind of hungry, and I got used to eating more frequent smaller meals with higher calorie content, but now that we are finished, I no longer need to keep the higher calorie content, and need to change my habits. Wish me luck!


UmmSalihah, where are you?

I hope inshallah you are well. I miss your blog :(

Assalamu alaykum,



  • Six months and one week old.

  • 19lbs 11oz

  • 29 1/2 inches

  • Sitting up

  • Crawls backwards

  • Babbles non stop (mama, dada, baba)

  • Pulls and destroys my hijab. No point in even trying to wear anything that requires pins.

  • I also have a bald spot at the nape of my neck- from the merciless pulling and yanking.

  • Grasps the spindles on his crib while on his belly, pressing his face against them to look for us.

  • LOVES his Curious George stuffed monkey.

  • Loves to eat his baby food now, string beans are amongst his favorites!

  • That's all folks!


If it is there- I will eat it.
If it is not there, I will not eat it.

Status Chubbins

5 months 1 week
18 lbs 11 oz
29 inches (he grew 1 1/2 in in 4 weeks!)
Didn't cry with his shots
Hates Peas
Loves Carrots
No Fruit Yet
Almost sitting up
Understands "No"

A quick note:

Eid Mubarak!

Not much going on, been too busy to blog any of my thoughts. Alhamdulillah husband and iBaby are doing great! Baby is getting SO big and silly. He's been scooting around on his belly, and sleeps with his behind up in the air! He is also smitten with hair-pulling, skin pinching and slobbering on anything within reach. And of course, he is a total sucker for anything soft and squishy! We go to the pediatrician Monday inshaallah, I have to guess hes bordering at least 19 lbs and 28 inches long. We shall see ;)

Ive been battling an awful sinus infection, but alhamdulillah it wasnt enough to keep me down! Working out of the home full time makes time fly. One day blends with the next, and before I know it, its sunday night and I am already missing being home with baby and husband in the evening.

I am super excited about the upcoming presidential election. No matter who wins, history will be made, and I look forward to following it closely. I still have not finished my investigation to determine who gets my vote. Im pretty sure what direction Im headed in, but I still have some time to mull it over.

Im super worried about the economy. Im not a financially savvy person, but there are signs- and of course news, about how bad things are. I cant help but think that the root cause of all this trouble is g-r-e-e-d. Lack of regulations. Riba. I do not think we are immune to hard times like during the great depression. I am scared, and hope inshaallah that things turn around soon.

May Allah keep us wise, close to the deen and responsible. May Allah protect us from despair and hardship, and at the same time, increase our ability to be kinder and more generous to those in need, Ameen.

Alhamdulillah wu shukr lillah for everything in this life and then next!

Until next time folks, May Peace Be Upon YOU!~

iBaby briefing

Assalamu alaykum: Here are the latest stats on my little monkey...

4 1/2 months old
17 lbs 5 ounces
27 1/2 inches long
Still not sleeping well at night
Hates anything on his feet
Sits up well with assistance
Hold his head up strong!
Babbles non-stop
Not ready for cereal yet
Widow's peak is filling in nicely!
New fur growth on ears, legs, back, ears and fingers!
Chubby thighs
Loves to read books
Still nursing part-time
Rolls over!
Grabs his feet!
Got two needles and didn't even flinch!

Enough said ;)


Hijabification is the act of wearing hijab, around my body, and my heart. It is not just a scarf or veil, but a garment that is a symbol of my faith that holds wisdom, sentimental value, purpose and responsibility.

Hijabification is not an event; it's a lifelong process. It's the evolution of my mind, body and soul. It doesn't necessarily begin with the physical act of covering one's hair and body- but with the curiosity of Islam and what it means to be Muslim.

This is what Hijabification is for me. What does it mean for you?

Ma Salama,


I'm Thirsty

Ramadan Mubarak everyone.

May this Ramadan be a reminder for us, as to how fortunate we are.

May this Ramadan be our "reset" button to slow down and gain a deeper re-appreciation for our deen and stronger iman.

May Allah subhana wa ta'ala accept our fasts!

Sunday Morning

Created by: Allah subhana wa ta'ala
Photographed by: iMuslimah
Copyright 2008
Image may not be used or reproduced

Big Boy!


Baby update:

14 weeks old
16 lbs 8 oz
26 1/2 inches long
Cuter than ever
Sweeter than candy
Softer than silk
Milder than a gentle breeze
Happier than happy
Downright silly
Big black eyes
Dribblin' and droolin',
That's my boy.


Zucchini Squares

Inspired by the well written UmmSalihah, I am posting a zucchini recipe that a friend passed on to me. It is super tasty, and fattening, so a little goes a long way. I like to make it as a side dish when serving company. Its also nice for a brunch, or a sister's get together:

3 cups grated zucchini
1 cup biscuit mix (I use Bisquick)
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 tsp fresh oregano (finely chopped)
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
dash garlic powder
2 tbsp fresh parsley (finely chopped)
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs lightly beaten.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees (Fahrenheit). Mix all ingredients together, spread in a 13 x 9 inch pan, and bake for 30 minutes. When the top is golden brown, it's ready! Cut into square pieces to your liking. I would like to bake this in a pie plate and serve slices....might make for a nice presentation OR bake them in muffin tins....

UmmOmar Back to Work

As'salamu alaykum one and all.

Before I ramble, I must say two things:

1. Alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything Allah subhana wa ta'ala has blessed me with.
2. A special thank-you to my husband, for everything has done for our budding family. I miss not being home with you in the evening.

I went back to work one week ago. It was crazy- more hectic than I remember. Three and a half months flew by quickly. I was dreading it; I cried non-stop for about three days prior to my return, and then the moment I actually had to tear myself away from my baby bear- I completely lost my composure. I must have kissed him a hundred times, and told him how much I loved him. The little stinker was in my husbands arms, and when I turned away from him to walk out, he followed me with his little coconut head, drooling and cooing. Oh, my heart ached all night long.

With that said, there are blessings here. I was/am not at all worried for iBaby's well being, as he is always with his father when I am working. My husband is a champ, he does it all- from diaper changes, to baths, entertainment, feedings, laundry, cooking and moral support. I do the same for him while he is at work. I can see they joy in his face when he is taking care of baby. It is really, really beautiful to see, and I can't stop smiling when I think of the two of them. My husband truly is my best friend, and has done everything in his power to make my transition back to work as easy as possible. I hope he reads this.

I miss my son. I long to see his chubbly little face when Im at work. It is all I can think about, and what gets me through the night, is that Inshaallah when I leave work, I head home to my family. I love it. I have a family. Not two of us, but three. Three is wonderful. I never though I would love the number three so much.

I was greeted with so much happiness and excitement when I returned to work. My colleagues were happy to have me back, and it felt kind of good to get back into the swing of things. While I would probably stay home full time if I had the chance, I just keep focusing on the positive aspects, like helping support my fa mily- and it is a satisfying feeling.

We have decided to start saving for iBaby's education. Hopefully inshallah we will send him to an Islamic parochial school for his elementary education, as well as junior high & high school. It's expensive. So worth it. The more I look into his education, the more I realize how important it is to develop his spirituality as well as his academic skills. Inshaallah, we will also be saving to send him to college. I cant even think that far in advance, but I know that time will fly, and inshallah it will be nice to have the means to send him without sweating it out financially.

My God, I am so in love with this little guy. Everything has new meaning, every moment seems more precious, and the miracle of life is unfolding in front of my eyes.

Now onto the practical: I am wiped out. I feel pitiful lol. iBaby must feel the shift in routine, and hasnt been sleeping so great this week. Hubby and I are both back to being sleep deprived but inshallah it is only temporary. Tonight I arrived home at 1am, to find my little kitten bright eyed and bushy tailed. All smiles with his legs sticking up in the air. So seriously sweet and delicious he is. What a treat to come home to this. I cant get anything done. Im so tired in the morning and afternoon, that I am lucky if I manage to get fresh air. When he rises at about 8am, we spend about an hour feeding and playing, then he gets to watch mama straighten up the house, tidy up herself, get her clothes ready for work, prepare a simple meal, make a few phone calls- and then before I know it it's feeding time again. Then, I get to shower, pray, greet hubby and sometimes we all nap together for about an hour, and then I leave.

Feedings: Ive been giving baby formula, and supplementing with expressed milk (I can only get about 8 0z on a good day), and out of the blue, last week, I was just too exhausted to get up and warm a bottle, so I re-introduced iBaby to the breast, and he took it! Mashallah I was shocked. He is bigger and stonger now, and more able to latch on properly. Its been about one week, and I am not enough for him alone, but nursing him just a few times a day helps keep my milk supply up. If this does not last, I will not get all upset. I have told myself that this brief experience with him is a gift, and I am just treasuring each moment. Im glad to have the experience, and to know what it is like to nurse him without all the drama and tears. Alhamdulillah.

I know everything will fall into place soon, I just need to have more patience :)

Gotta run, time to sleep!

iBaby Update

Age: 11 weeks
Weight: 14lbs 9oz
Length: 25 inches
Head circumference: 16.5 inches

Mashallah! Alhamdulillah he is in good health. He received several immunizations today, including DTaP which is known to have unpleasant reactions in babies. He is slightly whiny/cranky, but has been given baby tylenol as a preventative measure. I could not watch him get the injections. My husband had to hold him still. He was so cute and quiet, and when the needle went in, he let out a horrific cry- which was followed by a pause (you know that hysteria type pause when they shake), then continued to howl. Oh my poor baby. I was choking back the tears.

Yesterday I laid him on his tummy (awake) to see what he would do, and he kept his head up high, and then turned himself halfway over! Mashaallah! He is drooling excessively and keeps licking his gums. Its super cute. Maybe teething is just starting, I hear it comes and goes, and takes quite a while (months).

Thank you Allah subhana wa ta'ala, for this most precious baby boy. I love him infinitely.

Bits and Pieces

Assalamu alaykum ladies & germs:

Greetings and salutations. My husband and I just had the BEST weekend! We attended the Islamic Circle of North America 2008 Convention in Hartford, Connecticut. MashALLAH what a wonderful experience it was! From the moment we stepped foot in the parking garage, we were surrounded by Muslims from all walks of life, for the same purpose!

The program was CHOCK full of talks, lectures, slide shows, and informational booths. There were so many choices, that we had to pick what was most interesting to us (it was almost overwhelming with the plethora of choices available to us). Friday and Saturday, every hour on the hour, there was something new being offered in one of the TWENTY conference rooms available! I mean, I just can't convey to you, how massive this was. There easily had to be at least 5,000 (yes- five thousand) Muslims present. We brought iBaby with us, and mashaallah he was SO good. We dragged him around 14hrs each day on Friday and Saturday, and he never made a peep unless he was hungry.....even the noise didn't bother him. Well- I take that back. He screamed bloody murder when he heard the adhan! I think it was way to loud for his tender little ears, so I just made sure I boogied out of the main hall when it was coming.

A large part of this conference was dedicated to sisters, and sadly I just did not have a chance to investigate, as there were so many others things to do. The highlights for me were talks and lectures given by the following individuals:

Yahiya Emerick

Dr. Jeffrey Lang

Shaykh Yusuf Estes

Imam Siraj Wahhaj

Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui

Chaplain Yusuf Lee

The knowledge, peace, thoughtfulness and love for Allah swt was so clear in the hearts of these brothers. I walked away with a boost in my iman and having learned something new. For me, the biggest benefit I received from this weekend was understanding and accepting the Qadr of Allah.... I had been going through some stuff prior to this trip, and something Sh. Mokhtar said has not left me....I dont remember his exact words, but in essence it taught me to change my thinking and that when I see something that I long for myself, to say "Alhamdulillah for what Allah swt has given this individual, and may Allah grant the same for me".

So of course, you are wondering what I was longing for- and I don't want anyone to think it was something material, sooooooo here goes, for the last time, as I promise to no longer revisit this issue: breastfeeding. It has been the #1 disappointment of my life. Every time I would see a woman nursing a child, it would move me to tears and I wished I could do the same.....iBaby is almost 11 weeks old now, and I have decided to stop trying. I truly believe it is Qadr Allah swt. Allah says that with hardship comes ease,so I am trusting that Ive done all that I can, and since alhamdulillah iBaby is healthy and thriving, I ought to just leave it alone.

The Bazaar was OFF THE HOOK! This was a bonus. There had to be at least 200 vendors there, in a flea market like setting, all from popular websites you and I have probably shopped on. There were Jilbabs, hijabs, abayas, and niqabs for sale as far as the eye could see! There were entire book stores that catered to children and adults (oh man-I found some really great things for iBaby that include but are not limited too a mini prayer rug, kufi and his "first quran"). My husband and I found some great books, AND I got a stash of hijabs and pins that ought to last me a long while.

I met sisters from all over the world and I loved every minute of it. This truly was a family oriented event- so i wasn't worried that iBaby was going to cry or have an explosive bowel movement. I was panicked about changing his diaper in public if need be, and it only happened once. The line for the ladies room was TOO long, so I found a discreet corner and draped a blanket over his stroller so no one could see his business LOL. I brought these diaper sacs that conceal odor, for moments like these. I also had to pump milk in my car (gotta love technology), that was a bit of a positional challenge! Did I feel like a pack mule for this trip? You betcha, but it was worth every bit of aggravation.

Do you know what also impressed me? The youth! A large part of this conference was also dedicated to young Muslims, and it was great! It was so refreshing to see young Muslims practicing and really taking their iman seriously. Since I reverted to Islam at 32, i don't know what it's like to be a Muslim teenager in the west. I am certain it is a huge challenge, and I commend these young people for doing their best.

Saturday night my husband and I attended and entertainment gathering that featured The Travelers AND Baba Ali!!!!! Do you know who Baba Ali is? He is the comedian behind Ummah Films that you've probably seen on YouTube. If you haven't seen him, look him up on YouTube, Im sure you will get a good laugh!

Total strangers would stop us frequently to check out iBaby and make dua for him. During a lecture, I was feeding him, and when it was time to burp him, I put him over my shoulder, and he was just looking around and cooing at the ladies and children behind me. When he opened his mouth to coo, and a giant burp came out LOL and all the children giggled; it tickled me pink!

So there you have it, a watered down version of my wonderful weekend. I hope inshaallah we go again next year AND I hope some of you will go too. I believe ICNA has chapters all over the USA. Check out !


Nope- I'm not talking about religion folks; if you can bear it, I am talking about my son! I experienced seriously extreme cuteness tonight:

I swaddled iBaby in his stretchy receiving blanket, put him down to sleep in his bassinet and left the room. About 15 minutes later, I walked back in, and little chubbykins had one arm out with his fist in his mouth, and when he made eye contact with me, he let out a big happy coo, with a giant smile.

That's it, nothing major to the general public, but it made my heart burst.

Assalamu alaykum.

Things That Make Me Happy

Created by Allah
Photographed by iMuslimah
Copyright 2008
Images may not be copied, used or reproduced.

Working Outside-the-Home Moms Please Speak Up

Assalamu alaykum all :)

Alhamdulillah it's been 9 1/2 weeks since iBaby has graced us with his arrival. In about two weeks, I will be returning to work, full-time, in the evening. My heart is breaking, as he is getting cuter each day, and now he has a repertoire of tricks at bedtime, that I will miss, five nights a week. I'm not worried for his well being, as he will be home with Baaba who is in amazing father, and who will give him so much TLC inshaallah.

I'm just feeling deflated/sad/heartache for being away from him. I cannot work days- because then iBaby would be in daycare 9 hours a day, and I am not willing to do that.

My God. Mashaallah he is so soft and sweet. His legs are chubby and cute. He's very calm and easy going- and loves to smile, coo and make baby noises. Four days ago, he found his hands and now they are in his mouth frequently. Sometimes I put him down for a nap, and when I walk back into the room, I hear him sucking. He still loves to be swaddled at night, and when I'm all finished wrapping him, he gives me a huge gummy grin and loves to be cuddled. We then head to the rocking chair for some quiet time. He stays awake and just looks at me, and I feel like I'm the best thing ever. I will miss this.

So, what I want to know is: how do you all cope with returning to work? Do you have a strategy for getting things done at home, as your time is limited? How do you juggle your husbands, and children and your own needs? Does anyone have any helpful hints that you would like to share? Even your smallest tip or idea could be helpful...

Alhamdulillah for the opportunity to work. Alhamdulillah for my education and skill that allows me to help provide. Alhamdulillah for a hard working husband ( and outstanding father to our son) who will begin graduate school in September. Alhamdulillah for our healthy baby boy, and may Allah swt protect him always.

8 Weeks.

Oh. My. Goodness.


My baby giggled at me today. A full on, primal, unrefined belly giggle- accompanied by giant smile. It lasted only for a nanosecond- enough to make me go absolutely insane with joy and pride.

I think I kissed him a thousand times as a result of his giggle.

I can now identify his different cries most of the time (hungry is distinctly different from tired, and tired is very different from "I need attention"), and now when he cries, real tears come out.

iBaby has also learned to suck on his forearms, hands and fingers in a pinch. LOL.

I just got a rocking chair; we love it.

Tomorrow is my last post-partum check up. I will miss this chapter in my life so much! My OB/GYN is the best. I will bring iBaby with me. This should be interesting since I havent ventured out alone, with him, without help yet, unless I go for a walk. My appointment is at noon, so inshaallah I should wake up at 7am LOL. It will take me that long to get ready.

How will I ever return to work without a broken heart?

Ya Allah, please help me deal.

iBaby Update: 6 1/2 Weeks


He smiles.
He coos.
He always kicks with his chubby left leg first.
He tries to communicate with me.
11 lbs. 8 oz.
He knows his Mama and Baaba
Tonight he went to sleep at 10:30pm!
Mamma's gonna get some shut-eye!

May Allah continue to bless his little heart, his little life, his innocent soul, Ameen.

Night night.


Created by Allah Subhana wa tala
Photographed by iMuslimah
Copyright 2008


Assalamu alaykum all-

Seriously, this happened to me today:

I was out shopping with iBaby and my sister, at a very popular warehouse club where you can purchase things in bulk. While I was on line, my sister and I were talking about travel and airplanes. She mentioned that a certain airline (can I say on here?) is going to start charging for ANY luggage that is checked! The cashier chimes in, seemed quite lovely, and said "it's because of the price of oil- they are finding new ways to pass the increase onto the customers, and all airlines will probably follow the same new rules". She then dropped the bomb-

"You know, my son just got back from Iraq and said that oil is 3 cents a gallon. Our boys are there fighting to help these people and you would think the least they could do is send us some of their oil".

Can you imagine?

There are so many things wrong with her statement, that I didn't know where to begin.

What is it with people? Do they not understand that you don't discuss politics with customers, better yet, it shouldn't be discussed in the workplace???? I wanted to jump all over it- I was ready to retort, but I thought it best to hold my tongue, even though I would have been mild mannered and eloquent about it.

I would like to know where some make the connection between putting a material value on life under unfortunate circumstances (and that is putting it mildly). Ok, so her son was in Iraq, he survived- would cheaper oil have made her pain and agony better, while she was waiting for her son to come home in one piece? Would it make parent who has lost a son or daughter in service feel better? Highly unlikely.

Are we really helping the Iraqi people? No we are not. I do not believe that at ALL. The people of Iraq have lost so much, their children, relatives, homes, cars, roads, jobs. They continue to fall prey to hunger, poverty, starvation, unemployment and violence. Hospitals are destroyed, banks are gone, markets and other necessary structures have been destroyed. We are supposed to believe that we are helping them, and then take their oil in return? Give me a break.


Recently I went shopping for a piece of silver jewellery. I didn't have anything specific in mind, I just wanted something shiny and sparkling. The clerk kept overwhelming with pieces, and I couldn't take it. She just kept throwing things out of the show case for me to look at. I wanted to throw them back at her.

She decided she wanted to sell me a crucifix! I gently explained that I am Muslim, and that it doesn't jive with my religious beliefs. She look stunned. She kept insisting it was beautiful, and again I explained I am Muslim. Finally, I thought maybe I should take it one step further- apparently she didn't know what being Muslim meant, maybe she never met a Muslim. So I asked her if she wanted me to explain, and I did. I gave her a very watered down version, making the point that I would not wear a crucifix for several reasons. She got it, and stopped trying to make the crucifix sale. I ended up purchasing a simple ring. When she handed me my receipt she said:

"Remember there is only one God: the father, the son, the holy spirit; and Jesus is the son of God and our lord and savior".

I returned my ring.


Assalamu alaykum.

I was staring at iBaby tonight, while he was sleeping in his bassinet, and I cannot believe how big he is getting. Mashaallah he is SO cute and cuddly, and ROUND! His head is a perfect round melon with black peach fuzz. His nose is delicious, and his lips are sublime. His feet are irresistible, and his toes are like tic-tacs; tiny, edible and sweet. I cant stand the cute, chubbing-up cheeks and his sweet little chin. Oh and the thighs! He has totally filled out his stretchy feety pajamas (with little baseballs and bats on them), and he looks like a little sausage link. I can't believe this weekend he will be 4 weeks old inshaallah. Subhanaallah, he is just amazing. I think he is going to be a tall boy. May Allah bless him always, Ameen.

Am I biased?!?!?!?! *wink*

Maybe Ill do a photo-essay. That will take time, but maybe I can manage it when my husband is off. Don't know. I'm not sure how I/hubby feel about posting his photos on the internet. I'm so anxious to share his pic with you tempting. (I don't feel conflicted islamically about photography- its the whole internet thingy that causes me hesitation). What are your opinions on this? Please comment!

Until then- Ma Salaama,

iMuslimah & Co.


Assalamu alaykum.

Hello all. Trapped in house today. No walks for us today due to plentiful rain. Grumpy. How dare I?

Happy to report iBaby is thriving and growing mashaallah.

Feeling bad about breastfeeding. I just wish I could do it. It would make life so much easier for both of us. I just cannot reconcile, in my pea sized brain that it is not working for us. On average, I am able to pump 20 ounces of milk for him per day, and only having to supplement with about 6 ounces of formula.

I used to love watching 'A Baby Story' on The Learning Channel', but I cant stand the sight of a woman giving birth the natural way, nor can i stomach seeing a woman nurse her child, right now.

How immature and nasty of me.

I have to change my perspective asap, or I will torture myself.

Seriously, how dare I feel this way? All of these circumstances in my life are beyond my control and in Allah's hands. He knows what is best for iBaby and I.

How can I grind my teeth because my milk supply isn't increasing, when there are women starving and thirsty in Myanmar and China- unable to nurse their children because there is no food or clean drinking water?

How can I complain that I have to use formula to supplement, when children in Myanmar and China have been orphaned and are starving to death? Heck- I don't even have to look that far. There is plenty of poverty and hardship right here, in the land of want and plenty- the USA.

Alhamdulillah I know I am so incredibly blessed with my son, my family. I love them more and more each day. Its amazing, I never thought my heart could hold so much.


Can someone please tell me why spaces are not showing up in between my paragraphs??? It is very annoying and ugly to read.

Alhamdulillah yesterday I had some free time without iBaby. I had reservations about being away from him, BUT my husband was with him and he actually convinced me that getting out and clearing my mind would be good for me! He was right! I missed iBaby while gone, but it wasn't terrible. I think if he had not been with his Baaba, I would have felt differently, or maybe I would not have gone. I got in my car and drove. Oh my, did it feel good. I cranked up some Frank Sinatra ("All of Me") and enjoyed every measure. It so reminded me of my mother, she would clean the house on Sunday morning to her favorite music, Sinatra being one of her all time fave artists. I was gone about 1 1/2 hrs, ran a few errands and just enjoyed it.

"You know- you got the part, that once was my why not, why not take all of me"

Oh- I had a post-op check up with my OB/GYN on Friday, and she went absolutely nuts over iBaby. She even remembered that he has fuzz on his ankles and shoulders! We took a few snapshots of them together, and then talked about health. Are you ready???

I am 49, yes FORTY-NINE pounds lighters than my first pregnancy visit! Can you believe that? I almost fainted! Everyone has been telling me that I look like Ive melted away and look great, but I'm so tired, and still recovering- so I don't feel it. Alhamdulillah I developed really good eating habits during pregnancy due to diabetes and chronic hypertension, to protect iBaby, and in the end, I reaped a huge benefit. I no longer have to take anti-hypertensive medication, and my blood glucose no longer needs to be monitored! Mashaallah! The breakdown: I lost 22lbs during the pregnancy and 27 after delivery! Oh yea! All this eating every 2 hours, and choosing the right foods- and we had plenty of calories too. I hope inshaallah I can continue on this path to loose 35 more lbs, and be in the best shape possible for my son, and my family. I want to run and play with him, as well as show him how to take care of the bodies Allah swt gave us. My husband and I want to get bikes so we can take nature trails through our gorgeous parks. I would like to start hiking- we've got lots of trails and nature walks around us. Alhamdulillah.

Finally- all the Arabian styled clothing my husband's family sent me is starting to fit, and I am sure they would love to see me in it. I would love to wear some of it too- there are a few gorgeous abayas/jilbabs (whats the difference???) that would be perfect for the Eids.

Each day, I find new hope and new joy- I am finally starting to feel like a true mommy (it took a few weeks), and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Assalamu alaykum ;)

Day 4

There is not going to be a Day 5, since my husband has a 4 day work week (Ameen!).
Day 4 went pretty smoothly, I got some help from my sister. She came over and fed, burped, changed and cuddled him, which allowed me to get other things done! It felt really good, as clutter was accumulating in our home, and I needed to tidy up. After that was finished, she accompanied me to Babies R Us- as I don't feel strong enough to leave the house alone with him, since I still cannot lift anything heavy (car seat, stroller etc..). It was nice. We shopped a little, then came home.
iBaby is having gas/crying issues at night. It also seems he has gone back to sleeping ALL day and having to be awakened for feedings, and then being super fussy between 10pm-2am. It is stressful, but it was nice having husband home to help with it, since normally he is not home for this. Even if the fussies don't go away completely, as his organs mature, it will get better. I noticed that the leg massage/exercises help him pass gas and make him more comfortable.
I found switching bottles has significantly helped the gas issue. I was using the Medela bottles and slow flow nipples that came with my pump- the nipples are super soft and iBaby collapses them, hence sucking too hard/getting air. I also tried the Avent bottles- and he was still getting too much air- and burping a LOT with hiccoughs. I purchased one Playtex VentAir Advanced, and one Dr. Brown's- and guess what? Dr. Brown's did not help at all, BUT playtex did. I was pleasantly surprised. iBaby is now using the Playtex, and its much better for him. The nipple doesn't collapse, and it is a true slow flow nipple- when he drinks from it, it's a little more work and his jaw/neck muscles move like he is actually nursing directly from me. We are happy.
Well- I must say that Medela has outstanding customer service. I called them Thursday night about my broken pump (Medela Pump in Style advanced), the agent I spoke to was getting ready to leave but said she would stay a few minutes extra if I could get to a fax and send my proof of purchase. Do you know why? They take breastfeeding/nutrition seriously and she told me that she would like to make sure I got a brand new motor the next day as not to interrupt my son's feedings. Can you believe that? Well, low and behold, the next day- a new motor arrived- and it didn't cost me a dime! I have since rented a hospital grade pump, just for a month to see if it will increase my supply. If not, Ill return in 4 weeks, and continue using the one I have which is pretty darn good. Alhamdulillah for everything.
iBaby now follows my face and voice. It is so darn cute- I can't take it! Mashaallah he is really growing and changing so much, and is really filling out. He is loosing his newborn look and the ripe old age of three weeks.
That's it for now- motherly duties await me!
Assalamu alaykum ;)

Day 3

Salaams to all.
Day 3 was essentially the same as Day 2. I'll take it. Anything is better than Day 1.
Still grappling with the nursing issues. I just can't give up. I'll keep trying until I am convinced it can't work. For now he gets mostly bottles, and a little bit of me. I am relieved he is at least getting my milk.
Pump aggravation: We spent $329 on a pump almost 90 days ago. All of it's functions are not working, so our options are (now mind you my son is relying on pumped milk) to return it to the manufacturer (it weighs a lot) with shipping at our expense, and then rent a hospital grade pump for one month at the cost of $70 plus the $49 accessory kit I need to use it OR I can attempt to wait until the 'buyer protection' (which cost us $40) warranty kicks in after 90 days, and get a brand new replacement (Im sure there are strings attached), and spare the cost of renting a pump for one month. I'll make a decision tomorrow morning after speaking to the manufacturer. Maybe they will offer me a better solution, who knows.
Positive stuffage: I tried on some pre-pregnancy clothing that was WAYYYYYY too tight on me before I got pregnant, and they are falling off me! Hooray! It feels good to be getting back on track to a healthier lifestyle. I'm really excited. My husband is taking us for my follow up visit with my OB/GYN tomorrow, and then to get me new threads inshaallah. I can't wait. I'm also looking forward to showing off iBaby to the staff at the office, whom Ive seen every week for what seems like forever. I'm happy to see my doctor too- as we just feel that she gave us the best care possible, and we cannot forget that. I'll have to dress shim in something extra delicious for his debut.
iBaby is up to about 3 0z milk per feeding now, and sucks it down quickly, even with a slow-flow nipple. I have to interrupt him so he can burp (and boy- can he). We had some issues settling down for bed, and basically he stayed awake from 1am to 430am. When my husband came home at 3:15am, I felt a sense of relief. I was exhausted.
Mashaallah he is getting cuter and cuter. Sweeter and sweeter, and big! His voice is starting to change a bit, and he is able to follow our voices. When I put him over my shoulder to burp, he tries to suck on my cheek; yet I am convinced he is trying to kiss his mama.
Inshaallah tomorrow is a new day for us.

Day 2

Assalamu alaykum,
Day 2 was better than Day 1 alhamdulillah. I'm still grappling with the bottle/nursing issues- but today I opted to only bottle feed beasty (A nickname bestowed upon iBaby by the nursery staff lol). I actually enjoyed feeding him, it was much easier on my psyche and his. No crying, no fussing- pure gratification for him. The down side is the constant pumping- the constant bottle and nipple washing, and measuring. I can't believe he is already taking 3 oz per feeding. Mashaallah he is growing so fast; I swore last night that he was bigger than when he woke up. His onsies are getting snug, and he is more able to wiggle out of his receiving blankets. His umbilical cord fell off Sunday, but I still sponge bath him. My husband and I want to give him his first bath together- we just haven't had time yet. It will surely be a Kodak moment.
I accomplished more Day 2: I got a long, hot shower with hair washing. I even shaved my legs! I also was able to sponge bathe iBaby, straighten up our home, make our beds AND actually cook a meatball and spaghetti dinner. I did all this after my husband left for work. I'm feeling better than I did Day 1. I miss him so much, and when he comes home, my heart leaps.
C-section is healing very well alhamdulillah.
I still can't believe I have a family now, and that I am a mother.
Inshaallah, tomorrow is another new day for us.

Day 1: Baaba Back To Work

Assalamu Alaykum-

I dreaded this day since the birth of iBaby- especially when I learned how awesome my husband would be....

I might as well be truthful- it was awful. iBaby had a rough day; his mama was exhausted and terrified. Breastfeeding was a total nightmare; we had made it almost one full week of exclusive nursing, and that ended this day. We've been for several lactation consults, and made some progress with the 'bionic nipple'. My nipples are flat, there is nothing for iBaby to really latch onto, so Im using a silicone shield. the draw back is that I have to hold the nipple on, and football cradle him with my other hand. That leaves me helpless when a problem arises. When baby sucks, the silicone nip draws breast tissue into it, to create more of an utter (for lack of appropriate vocab). He really doesn't like it, if he fusses- it falls off, and if his feisty little hands go bananas (like the usually do when he is hungry), the nip gets knocked off. By the time he latches, 20 minutes has passed, Ive pulled out every trick in the book, hes cried real tears, I've balled my eyes out, and then he falls asleep after 10 minutes of nursing. I then have to wake him and start over. Overall, it's taking about 1 1/2 hours to get a good solid 30 minutes nursing session. I am frustrated- disappointed, depressed. I've been wanting to nurse him and do the best for his health. It seems that the forces of nature are working against me. Mashaallah Ive been able to keep up a decent supply of milk by pumping, so I have not had to give him formula, yet.

I'm feeling angry- this is the most natural process, and I cant do it. At what point do I surrender and try to enjoy him more? Feedings are an ugly process, and I watch the clock now- waiting for the next session to begin.

I'm sure, some of you are reading and thinking that I should simply be thankful for my son, and wonder how I could be whining about this. I don't know how to explain my feelings. Nursing is a very strong instinct, as natural as the desire to be pregnant. Ive dreamed of this for a really long time, and time is passing quickly. I feel almost like I am grieving. I find myself unable to even talk to other moms about it. My son is growing mashaallah, and the window of opportunity to nurse him is growing smaller and smaller. I couldn't birth him the natural way, and now I cant feed him- and I feel completely and totally inadequate. I am feeling more and more like a failure. When I look into my baby's twinkling little eyes, I get lost in them and start to cry. I love him so intensely, and hope that my inability to do the best thing doesn't affect him. I cant stand the idea of even supplementing with formula. I have some here- because I do realize I will eventually need it, because my milk supply dwindles when I'm only pumping without nursing.

I'm sorry for sounding so blue. I need to get all of this off my chest. I realize there are many couples out there dying to start a family.

I never made it out of my pajamas. I never napped. I was awake for 20 hours, and when my husband came home from work at 3am, I handed iBaby to him and went to sleep. I feel guilty for that. He worked 12 hours and didn't have a chance to get his shoes off. He stayed awake until 6am, slept for 5 hours, woke up, made me a beautiful breakfast and packed his own lunch then went back to work for 12 more hours. I have to do better.

May Allah subhana wa ta'ala help me to be a better mother and wife, Ameen

Birth Story

Assalamu alaykum one and all ;)

We are moving beyond two weeks old, and life has changed dramatically. I am pleased to announce that iBaby now has a better understanding of night and day, and is actually sleeping 3hrs at once. Not bad mashaallah!

So for those of you that like more details, here are the rest:

Due to health reasons I had to be induced on a Friday night. The drive to the hospital was so exciting because now it was my turn, not someone elses. I work in the hospital I delivered at, so I always wondered what happened on the labor and delivery unit. The curiosity was killing me.

By 4am-ish, labor began, and by late morning, my membranes were ruptured and labor was in full swing. I still couldn't believe that I was having a baby, and my husband and I were full of anticipation. I just could not wait to push the little guy out, after a long pregnancy riddled with health concerns. The nurses and my doctor were phenomenal. You would never know that they were overflowing with patients and other deliveries by the individual care and attention they gave us.

The anesthesiologist came to place an epidural, and of course, he immediately asked my husband where he was from (he has an accent), and then assumed I converted to Islam for him!!!! You would think that someone with is degree of education and sensitivity training would know better. Anywho, it turned out he was from India and was interested in visiting my husband's country.... and then went on to say that all religions have their trials and troubles etc.....including his own (Hinduism). I left it alone, I just wanted to get rid of the pain.

By late afternoon, I was still 4cm, despite the wicked contractions. I had not made any progress, not even with the hard contractions and the addition of pitocin. By early evening my doctor discussed the inevitable: c-section. Two words I did not want to hear. I came all this way, and was almost at the halfway point! iBaby's head would not come down, and I carried Group B Strep, so the longer he stayed in there with membranes open, the greater the chance of infection. Of course, at that point my glucose kept dropping too low, and my blood pressure was getting too high, and I agreed to the surgery. I just wanted iBaby to be healthy and sound, and didn't really care how he came out.

Around 730pm ish I was wheeled into the O.R., it seemed so cold and sterile, and there was a rush of people moving about. I was strapped down, on the table, with plenty of reassurance from the entire team that everything was going to be OK, because I was terrified. When they re-medicated my epidural, it was different this time. I couldn't feel my legs, nor could move AT ALL. I was paralyzed. I couldn't even use my abdomen/chest muscles to clear my throat. Scary. Alhamdulillah it was only temporary. the shakes began, and I couldn't even speak. Once my husband was allowed in, I calmed down, and the surgery began (I didn't even know it!).

Alas, at 8pm, we heard the most robust cry, and I caught a glimpse of our munchkin on his way to be cleaned up by the nurses. He looked HUGE. Long, skinny feet. Perfect lips and chin. Black peach fuzz for hair. Just adorable. I was able to see him for about a minute and then he was whisked away to the nursery because his glucose was low.

About 4 hours later, after I left the recovery room, and I was stable, I finally got to hold our son. I was somewhat drugged up, but I remember feeling like I was on a cloud, he was so warm and soft and ALERT! He was so bright eyed and calm; we melted into him. I'll never forget it. Ever.

So, overall, it wasn't the ideal birth I had fantasized about. Allahu Alim, it was nothing like I had imagined. It was the opposite of what I hoped for. While I wasn't aiming for a totally natural birth, I mourn the no pushing, no release from the labor pains, no closure to the physical aspect of pregnancy and labor. I know in time, these feeling will leave me, as I work through them. We have a perfect, healthy baby. I could never ask for a better outcome. Alhamdulillah, we were placed in the hands of very capable people who provided excellent care.

The incision is healing well alhamdulillah. It still hurts, but it is not nearly as bad as days 4-5. That was the worst, and it's behind me now. My husband returns to work tomorrow (waaaaah), and I will be trapped in our house, as he works 12hr shifts and I cannot get down the steps myself, nor can I carry the baby down the steps, especially in his car seat. I can't drive yet anyway. I would like to take daily mini-walks, so perhaps I can arrange for a family member to help me with that. It really helps with the healing, and the weather is gorgeous right now. Spring is in full swing.

I had a very bad case of the blues until about 5 days ago-it was atrocious. I couldn't stop crying- everything overwhelmed and upset me, and the nursing seemed like a hopeless disaster. I felt like my body failed me again. To boot, no one mentioend baby blues- only post partum depression and how common it is, blah blah blah. So then I was worried on top of everything else, that I was abnormal, I was ashamed to say anything and kept it all in. Alhamdulillah a good friend shared her experience with me, and then I realized it was kind of normal. I branched out and asked others, and they all agreed. It felt like a weight had been lifted and I haven't been upset since (I kept forgetting I had surgery and that I need to heal too). I didn't ask for any visitors except immediate family, because I could barely get dressed and hobble around. I would get upset when visitors would just pop-in or call, as it seemed I was chained to my breast pump or the baby, and didn't feel comfortable with it yet (Im still not-it's not something I feel I can do in front of others). Nursing has been a real challenge, and we still have some kinks to work out. Inshaallah it will be successful. He's on pure breast milk thus far and I have not had to supplement with formula in a week! For now, he gets me 4 times a day, and nurses rigorously for about 30 minutes before passing out. It holds him for 3 hours! At night I need to give my parts a rest, as they are quite painful right now- hence he gets pumped milk in a bottle. He is happy either way ;) Mashallah he is thriving and gaining weight.

My husband has been great, in the hospital and at home. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, helping me nurse (he knows a lot more than I thought he would), changing and cleaning iBaby, grocery shopping and just loving us. He has been emotionally supportive through the mini break downs too. I love watching his relationship with our son flourish. It is just the purest joy.

I have to go now, iBaby ate 1 hour ago, so I should shower and grab a mini nap before he wakes up inshaallah. My breast pump is malfunctioning and I need to return it ASAP.
Thanks for reading, and I'll be back inshaallah!

iMuslimah & Co.

iBaby Stats

Assalamu alaykum all,

I've got a few minutes to spare, and I'm typing with one hand, so here are some details!

*Born two weeks ago
*7 lbs 9 1/2 oz
*22 in. long
*Loudest cry/squeal on earth
*Loves to be held, especially by Baaba
*Loathes diaper and clothing changes
*Big feet
*Covered in black fuzz from head to toe (and I love it!)

I actually managed to get a shower before 6pm, and it felt ohhh so good.

I'm dreading my husband's return to work Monday. He has been my rock.

New Man in My Life

Alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah! iBaby has made his way into this world and into our hearts. I am totally smitten with him, and my husband has gone bonkers- totally nuts over our magnificent gift. I'm wiped out, super tired - so I will post more later. Just wanted to keep you all up to date! Please make dua for us, that we remain in the best iman, health, healing, and that the nursing keeps up. It's been very difficult, and tonight was the first night it seems hopeful, and I want to be successful. Thank you :)
Assalamu alaykum!


A GINORMOUS Apology and Thank You to My E-Sisters

Assalamu alaykum sisters-

I have been SO self absorbed and just absent minded, that I didn't realize I changed my preferences on my blog to moderate all comments. I don't know what prompted me to do that, but I had over 36 fun comments to read this morning. I had been wondering why my blogs were so empty, and I just thought I wasn't interesting enough! Everyday i would check to see if anyone left me any tidbits and I would just close my laptop and walk away LOL! It really lifted me up this morning to see all your good thoughts and wishes, ideas and helpful tips! I just adore them and feel like a celebrity now!

Thank you thank you thank you for taking time to visit!

Jazzakullah Khair one and all, and I promise inshaallah to update you very soon (see last post before this one).

You are the best!

iMuslimah & iBaby to Be.

P.S. I've been adding links to your blogs slowly but surely, hope y'all don't mind!

3 Days to Go and Hopelessly Love Drunk

As'salamu alaykum one and all.

If I don't go into labor this week, I will be induced Friday evening. Can you believe it? We cannot. Inshaallah it will be a smooth and sound process. We just want baby to be healthy.

I stopped working last Monday, and that gave me a nice opportunity to recover from the wicked case of bronchitis, as well as tie up some loose ends and get ready for baby. Nesting is complete. My husband can't stop smiling, as he is waiting patiently.

The past few days have been one of the most beautiful and peaceful periods in my life. It's been a time of reflection, supplication and expectation. Each prayer with my husband has become more precious, as I know that it will stop for a while after our son is born. I've never felt more IN love, in my life.

My husband and I decided to write letters for a keepsake book we have started for our baby. His is in Arabic, mine in English. I have always envied that my husband is multi lingual/literate. My husband wrote three pages, and read it to me last night when he came home from work at 3:00 am.

It was the most beautiful and emotionally raw/naked moment we have had in a long time. He bared his soul to his son, and when it became to much for him, he paused. The pauses, caused me flooding tears and immense joy. I never enjoyed hearing my husband's voice, so much, ever. His thoughts were humble, kind, educated, understanding, gentle and tender. I am still reeling. My GOD, I am incredibly blessed. What a beautiful gift. For that moment, time stood still, and I realized that we needed it.

When it was my turn to read my letter out loud, I couldn't. The tears were overwhelming, yet soothing. My husband just comforted me like never before. When I began reading, he became so quiet and still, he kept nodding his head, and then he began to cry.

Never in my life, do I recall such a beautiful moment in time. I know the best is yet to come, but this was one of those precious experiences that never leave a soul. My GOD, please know that I thank you from the bottom of my heart for it.

After we were done, he rested his head on my bosom and caressed my big belly in the dark. The most unusual bird, started singing alone- there were no others. That is when we realized it was time for fajr. The bird was singing and praising, and I didn't want it to stop. We prayed, reflected, then drifted off to the most peaceful sleep.

I never could have planned this.

Alhmdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything in this life and the next.


Home S T R E T C H

Salaams to one and all. I haven't been blogging much, let alone writing in my own. I hope all is well with each and every one of you inshaallah.

Status: 2 weeks left inshaallah! Tired. No EXHAUSTED. Sinus infection w/ bronchitis. Can't sleep because I am congested and my asthma is TOTALLY aggravated. Heartburn. Weird dreams. Non-stop trips to the loo. Blood Glucose well controlled.

Alhamdulillah everything comes from GOD. I'm not really complaining lol. I just can't wait!

I envy my habib, his gentle soul, as he sleeps like an angel, ever so peacefully, not even remotely aware of the chaos that will ensue upon us. Mashaallah he has been even more helpful and supportive. He's been cooking, washing dishes, putting up with my nesting insanity, and he just bought me the niftiest new cell phone LOL. We match now. He appreciates the little things I manage to get done at this point. He tied my shoes for me the other day. He's been doing the laundry since Ive been told not to lift anything heavy (we have to go the laundromat-ugh). I just feel he is going the extra mile for me, so I can enjoy what is left of the pregnancy, since I just stopped working. I felt great up until this past weekend, I felt unstoppable-full of energy. Now I am sapped.

I did learn a neat trick yesterday. My mom told me that if I press my curtains while wet, the wrinkles will come out. What a difference wrinkle free window dressings make! I'm very proud of my efforts! I just had this horrific urge to take them down, wash and iron them. It was torturing me. Today, my task for today will be to leave a to-do list for my mom and sisters whilst I am giving birth! Can you imagine? I would never do that, but they are willing-

I hope that inshaallah while I am laboring, my mom/sisters just come into our house, and maybe do quick straightening up of our apartment, nothing make sure I am set for visitors. My biggest request is to have fresh bedding for baby and I when we get home. That is it really. Nice crisp linens after being in hospital sheets will feel glorious. I have asked them to put the bassinet together, and to wash all the bedding that comes with it, once I go into labor.

Bags are packed. Camera batteries are charged. Gray hairs to be colored tomorrow night inshaallah. Will exfoliate feet and legs tonight. Eyebrows/stray whiskers to meet their demise this evening. Will attempt, if not in labor this weekend, to make a few one dish meals and freeze them.

This is what I packed, moms please tell me if anything is missing (2 day stay anticipated inshaallah):

1. toothpaste, floss, mouth wash
2. antiperspirant, favorite body wash and lotion
3. blow dryer, comb, brush, tweezer (for rogue sprouts), hair clip, rubber band.
4. make-up. I know.
5. ginormous sanitary napkins
6. pads for bra (in case I spring a leak), lanolin
7. stretchy nursing bras
8. 5 pairs bloomers
9. socks
10. giant terry robe that takes up half of bag, flip flops for shower
11. fluffy feminine slippers
12. 1 pair jammies that cover (for visitors), with easy access for baby.
13. al-amira hijab
14. outfit for baby, beanie cap, onesie, teeny socks, knitted sweater and blanket, baby comb
15. comfy nightgown to sleep/nurse in.
16. love letter for my habib. must remind husband how important he is to us, and that I could not do this without his gentle love and support.
17. give endless thanks and praise to Allah, always.

I *think* Ive got my bases covered. Maybe i should toss a book in there too, just in case.

Birth plan: I'm pretty flexible. I've had some serious discussions with my doctor who is totally awesome. We think alike. Pain meds: yes, epidural: undecided, probably no. Birthing coach: husband only. I do not want an audience. I do not want to see the birth. No mirrors! Low lights, quiet environment. Episiotomy: yes, please. I have no desire to be massaged or to tear. I feel so at peace with my plan AND my doctor. It's a good feeling. Ive thought a lot about my major choices, and hope inshaallah there are no complications. Should something arise, I feel safe knowing that my doctor is there for us.

May Allah protect us and keep us in his care, Ameen.