Assalamu alaykum.

Hello all. Trapped in house today. No walks for us today due to plentiful rain. Grumpy. How dare I?

Happy to report iBaby is thriving and growing mashaallah.

Feeling bad about breastfeeding. I just wish I could do it. It would make life so much easier for both of us. I just cannot reconcile, in my pea sized brain that it is not working for us. On average, I am able to pump 20 ounces of milk for him per day, and only having to supplement with about 6 ounces of formula.

I used to love watching 'A Baby Story' on The Learning Channel', but I cant stand the sight of a woman giving birth the natural way, nor can i stomach seeing a woman nurse her child, right now.

How immature and nasty of me.

I have to change my perspective asap, or I will torture myself.

Seriously, how dare I feel this way? All of these circumstances in my life are beyond my control and in Allah's hands. He knows what is best for iBaby and I.

How can I grind my teeth because my milk supply isn't increasing, when there are women starving and thirsty in Myanmar and China- unable to nurse their children because there is no food or clean drinking water?

How can I complain that I have to use formula to supplement, when children in Myanmar and China have been orphaned and are starving to death? Heck- I don't even have to look that far. There is plenty of poverty and hardship right here, in the land of want and plenty- the USA.

Alhamdulillah I know I am so incredibly blessed with my son, my family. I love them more and more each day. Its amazing, I never thought my heart could hold so much.

1 Birds Chirpin':

bint alshamsa said...

These are such excellent points. It's so easy for me to forget and take for granted all of the blessings in my life. My child is almost a teenager and she has never once been seriously ill nor has she ever had to spend a night in the hospital since we left the hospital when she was born.

I had to stop breastfeeding earlier than I wanted to because I became quite ill and had to go on medication that permeated my breastmilk and made it unsafe for my daughter to continue feeding that way. I was very disappointed because I had this idea that, Allah willing, I was going to breastfeed my baby all the way until she was four years old. However, that was not in Allah's plan.

But now that she is older, I can see how Allah has given my daughter all of the blessings that I hoped breastfeeding would provide. I was putting faith in my own ability to provide for her instead of placing it where it truly belongs.

For He it is who, after creating the earth,
placed firm mountains on it, towering above its surface,
and bestowed so many blessings on it, and equitably apportioned its means of subsistence to all who would seek it: and all this He created in four aeons.