Hijabification

Assalamu alaykum-

Oh I have been neglectful of my little blog. Where does the time go?

InshaAllah next week I will be off from work for NINE DAYS! Woohoo! I can't wait to assume some normalcy. I am very much looking forward to it, as is my husband (and if my son could speak he would agree!).

Not too much going on here. Been very busy with son, family, work. Life in full swing as usual alhamdulillah. MashaAllah husband is loving new job. Baby is going to be ONE in a few days. Wow- the idea takes my breath away. More to come on this subject. I am certain I will be reflecting a LOT in the days to come.

Deen is a little weak, I am not confortable with that- so I hope to take advantage of some Iman boosters inshaAllah. This weekend, the three of us will be going to family night at the masjid. MashaAllah its is a busy masjid, there will be a lecure, and then a community pot-luck afterwards. I look forward to seeing my fellow muslimahs as well as meeting new ones. Due to work obligations I am somewhat removed from interacting with the sisterhood here on a regular basis ( I work evenings to be home with my son), and it is to my detriment to some degree BUT I take comfort in being with iBaby most of the day. InshaAllah in May we are going to a HUGE HUGE HUGE Islamic convention, and I can't wait!!!!!

That's it for now, time to myself is up and bouncing baby boy is patiently waiting for me to play with him!

Be good to each other,

iMuslimah

Assalamu alaykum one and all.

Inspired by the most humble and honest thoughts by Sister Fuzzy http://asks-muslimah.blogspot.com/2009/03/age-old-debate_26.html , I have the urge to share my own thoughts and feelings about being Muslim, observing hijab, and the impact it has on my daily life....

I am a revert to Islam since August 2005. I was born in and have lived in the USA my whole life. While there is no doubt that there is a lasting western influence in my lifestyle, I was pretty much modestly fashionable. Being a fuller figure/well nourished woman, I was more than aware of my body type and always wanted to look feminine, yet appropriate. I enjoyed getting my hair done, wearing nail polish, and generally took pride in my appearance. I felt lovely and soft.

Since wearing hijab, many blessings have come into my life; a thriving relationship with my husband, a beautiful little boy, a promotion at work, and people accepting for who I am and what I believe in, rather than what I look like. This is the ultimate freedom. Will life always be this easy? Inshaallah- but if not, my hijab will remind me that my faith is more important than anything, and like all things, doing them with GOD in my life will certainly make them worthwhile and ultimately to my benefit, whether it be in this life or the next.


Since wearing hijab, I've noticed that I do not like my appearance at home, when I am not wearing it. My hair is matted to my head to the point where I can't even style it without washing it all over again. I look like a pathetic drowned water rat. There is no recovery from a look this bad. Honestly, by the end of a day off ( I am only home 2 nights a week, working full-time evenings)- the last thing I feel like doing is re-styling my locks or putting on make-up to spice things up. I know in my heart, in the recesses of my soul, that my husband, unquestionably loves me and is indeed attracted to me. The problem is that I am not attracted to me. It has gotten worse since the birth of my 11 month son. Now, I truly do not have a minute to spare without sacrificing something else that needs to be done. Ive manage to carve out about an hour at the end of my night (1 to 2am) where I just do "me" things....read the news, pluck the brows, take a long shower or blog a bit. That's it.

I also feel frumpy. I don't feel that my current wardrobe is very fashionable, because I believe I should keep things simple. Is that an excuse? Sound like one. Do I have the energy to put something together that is cuter? Not really. I don't wear an abaya; I am just not comfortable with it. I do own a few beautiful ones, and wear them on special occasions. Maybe someday I will be willing to wear abays, but for now it takes me deep into the discomfot zone. Every spring and summer I painfully hunt mainstream clothing stores for items that are appropriate for hijab. Sometimes I get lucky, and sometimes I don't. I get frustrated and depressed. I feel like I wear the same things over and over again, just in different colors! I have found a few lovely, long tunics at Shukr, and I have a plethora of long skirts. This spring I should have a greater variety of things to wear.

Going to work is a breeze- I wear scrubs and a lab coat down to my knees. I don't have to worry about coverage, as it is madatory for us to wear these things. They are actually quite comfy, and very loose fitting. I like to match my Al Amira undercaps to my scrubs LOL. Now that I am verbalizing these things, it has dawned on me that A) I am perpetually exahusted and nothing is appealing when you're tired B) I work five nights per week, and really only worry about weekend wardrobes which might be part of the reason I am lacking in this department. I dont get dressed up often enough.

How do I get to any resemblance of my former self? Is it even possible? I suppose someday inshaallah my work schedule will ease, and there will be time. For now- these days.......there are only two things I can guarantee when it comes to self caring; #1 showering #2 good oral hygiene and a basic skin care regimen. That's what gets my free time!

After writing this, I don't feel so bad.....

Oh yeah, I have a wedding to go to in July. This should send me in a wicked fit trying to find something appropriate and nice. Wish me luck. Better yet, wish my husband luck. Poor unsuspecting soul of the "I have nothing to wear" wilderbeast that is about to rear it's ugly head.

Assalamu alaykum,

Sorry for the prolonged absence, been burning the candle at both ends, with little time to blog.

First things first- alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything in this life and the next.

Shout out to Organica: Find joy in your journey. Those radical converse are bound to land you someplace interesting ;)

Life with baby, husband and two full time jobs between us has been a real challenge. We are exhuasted, irritable at times, and keep pushing forward. Fortunately iBaby is always with one of us, so he is thriving and happy.

I had an asthma attack last night. It started with a sinus infection, and by last night I couldn't lay down, I could only sit up straight and labor to breathe. At about 2am iHubcap wrapped iBaby in his blankets walked him two doors down to my sister's house and took me to the Emergency Room. I received prompt treatment and relief, and came home. I was really surprised by all this. I have been very well controlled with maintenance meds for almost a decade, and the infection just completely exacerbated my condition. I'll be on steroids for the rest of the week which means I will be a ferociously hungry and wicked wilderbeast for the next five days.

When I initially called my sister at 2am, I was hysterical. Being a veteran of asthma in my 36 years of life doesn't take away the fear. For those of you may wonder how awful it feels, it's like attempting to take a breath through a straw. I didn't want to leave my little bundle. I was afraid it would get worse. It wasn't severe enough to warrant an ambulance, but I knew I had to get to the hospital.

I hope inshaallah my little guy doesn't catch this sinus infection.

Tonight I felt strong enough to hold him (after nice hot disinfecting shower) and give him his night-time bottle. MashAllah- dressed in his form fitting, pale aqua and yellow duckling fleece feeties, he sunk into my arms like a warm loaf of bread, and just stared at me in the dark. just looking, and connecting. I wept uncontrollably as I imagined that his big black liquid eyes and paint brush lashes were telling me that he missed me today (I slept all day whilst iH tended to him). His lids kept drifting and drifting until he could no longer fight off slumber. I let him stay in my arms for about a half hour (he was sweating), as I could not stop admiring him and thanking Allah for this beautiful grant He has bestowed upon us. Holding him, and rocking instantly made me feel better. His cute little body and round chubby cheeks are like an instant band-aid. Yes that's it, he is my little band-aid.

Moving on, shout out to AMW/owner of ALL MUSLIMAH BLOGS- I want so badly to visit your site, but every time I do, my internet explorer browser goes bananas! Any suggestions? The problem occurs when I try to close your page. All of sudden, it just keeps reloading page after page, and before you know IE has launched itself 20 or 30 times! Anyone have any insight? I miss reading Brandy's entries.

Duaa request: iH has a second interview this week with a health care facility he has been wanting to work for, for about 7 months (his current job really stinks). Please please please make even the tiniest dua that everything works out for the best, as there a few complicated issues. May Allah swt in return for your duaas. I really believe he is deserving of this new and exciting opportunity. Only Allah knows what is best for him/us.

Shout out to Jibbly & Mumina, where ya been?

Salaams peeps.

Been real busy the past 2 weeks. I am now realizing this is my life, and it is only going to get busier as iBaby gets older!

Re: previous post "Five Minute Face", the Morgan Schick Hi-Def is drying my skin out, probably wont use it anymore.

The holidays are upon us all, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to get out from underneath the great opressor "Christmas". I find it to be a suffocating time of year, and I am looking forward to it's passing. Inshaallah I am eager to greet 2009!

My husband is miserable at his job. Alhamdulillah it is a job, but it is just awful. He is currently seeking new employment, so please keep us in your dua's.

Inshaallah I will meet my brother-in-law for the first time next week. Yay! My husband hasn't seen him in eight years. He is coming for a visit, and I am excited for my husband and my son. This should be a really joyful time. Thank you Allah.

iBaby is getting huge. Growing like a weed! Last well visit he weighed in at 19 lbs 11 oz and 29 1/2 inches long. That was three weeks ago. I am certain he is closer to 21lbs now. All of a sudden his sleeves are short and his onsies dont snap so easily. Mashaallah. He will be 7 months old next week. If he is in my husbands arms, he reaches out for me and vice vera- its a very cute game he likes to play with us. He also will lay his head on my should if I ask him "will you please give mommy a little hug?" He looks absolutely sublime in his red fleece feetie pajamas with monkeys all over them. May Allah bless his sweet little heart, he is the joy of my life.

Ameen.