Hijabification

Assalamu alaykum everyone & Eid Mabrouk!

Eid was such a good day for us! While I intended to stay home with iMuffin while my husband attended Eid prayer, that isn't how it worked out. Early in the morning while I was blissfully asleep my husband must of thought it would be nice if iCutie was in bed with me (not). Almost instantly, I felt little fingers being jammed up my nose and in my ears, followed by hair pulling being ridden like a horsey. My husband took him out of bed at my behest, and then proceeded to torture me about what they both were going to wear to the masjid. At that point, I was annoyed, aggravated and most notable AWAKE, so I decided to go with them. When we arrived the first Eid service was concluding and Mashaallah, what a surprise, instead of letting the ladies balcony get dangerously overcrowded, they made comfortable prayer areas outside for spill-over. I was psyched to pray outside! BUT- we attended the second service, and there was no spill over, so I prayed inside. It was QUIET and not overcrowded. I really enjoyed.

As prayer was in progress, and as I listened to the recitation of Allah's divine message for us humans, it all hit me- how tiny I am- we all are in this universe, that I am not the first Muslim, nor the last to walk this path and how much work I have ahead of me, and just how LUCKY I am to be Muslim and to have Islam. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, so I looked straight down at my feet, and that's when I noticed.......that the tiny 4 year old girl next to me had a sixth toe. That just about snapped me out of my cry fest, but nonetheless I was happy to be joined in prayer with a child, and realized just how UNIQUE we all are.

The Khutba was really good. I'm not a saavy cerebral person. I usually take note of a few key things, and the rest just kind of gets lost on me. What was most impressionable to me was how the Sheikh explained to us that the Quran and our Fasts will be present on judgement day to intervene our behalf. Can you imagine that? It really struck me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. This was my Ramadan 2009 Epiphany.

Worthy of mention- what a beautiful sight the masjid was this day. All the women were dressed in their best. The masjid in our area predominantly serves the Pakistan community; a very well dressed, and affectionate community I might add! Oh how I loved the colors, the style and trends these women displayed. There were bangles and ribbons, beads and sequins, embroidery and vivid color, gorgeous shaylas, abayas, pant suits and niqabs. The children were adorned in the finest garments and running about with balloons. I ran into several people I know, and it was very nice to see them. iBaby wouldnt even crack a smile for my friends! Instead he knitted his eyebrows together and pouted his lips whenever one of them talked to him. Occasionally he muttered "ooooooh, nooooooo" and looked away in disgust! I was horrified! When the service was over and the imam declared Eid Mubarak, I received hugs from complete strangers and strangely I didn't get all uncomfortable!

I walked away from the service feeling good. We were supposed to have dinner with my family but my step-father got sick and we cancelled. Instead- we had lunch at home, skyped with my husbands family abroad, laughed and just chilled out. My mom stopped by to wish us a happy Eid, brought my husband his favorite homemade banana cake and gave iBunny a gift. We had a gift for her too. It was nice! I didn't even cook! My lovely sister made us dinner. That was a relief, as we were running on empty in terms of energy, and that gaves us a nice break.

We also received some good news this day; my SIL gave birth to her fourth child, and both mom and baby are in good health hamdullah! Time to shop and make cards, yippey!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are very blessed. Alhamdulillah- I wish it wasn't over and I look forward to Ramadan 2010 INSHAALLAH!!!!

I hope you all had a special day.....

iMuslimah

As'salamu alaykum one and all.

Before I ramble, I must say two things:

1. Alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything Allah subhana wa ta'ala has blessed me with.
2. A special thank-you to my husband, for everything has done for our budding family. I miss not being home with you in the evening.

I went back to work one week ago. It was crazy- more hectic than I remember. Three and a half months flew by quickly. I was dreading it; I cried non-stop for about three days prior to my return, and then the moment I actually had to tear myself away from my baby bear- I completely lost my composure. I must have kissed him a hundred times, and told him how much I loved him. The little stinker was in my husbands arms, and when I turned away from him to walk out, he followed me with his little coconut head, drooling and cooing. Oh, my heart ached all night long.

With that said, there are blessings here. I was/am not at all worried for iBaby's well being, as he is always with his father when I am working. My husband is a champ, he does it all- from diaper changes, to baths, entertainment, feedings, laundry, cooking and moral support. I do the same for him while he is at work. I can see they joy in his face when he is taking care of baby. It is really, really beautiful to see, and I can't stop smiling when I think of the two of them. My husband truly is my best friend, and has done everything in his power to make my transition back to work as easy as possible. I hope he reads this.

I miss my son. I long to see his chubbly little face when Im at work. It is all I can think about, and what gets me through the night, is that Inshaallah when I leave work, I head home to my family. I love it. I have a family. Not two of us, but three. Three is wonderful. I never though I would love the number three so much.

I was greeted with so much happiness and excitement when I returned to work. My colleagues were happy to have me back, and it felt kind of good to get back into the swing of things. While I would probably stay home full time if I had the chance, I just keep focusing on the positive aspects, like helping support my fa mily- and it is a satisfying feeling.

We have decided to start saving for iBaby's education. Hopefully inshallah we will send him to an Islamic parochial school for his elementary education, as well as junior high & high school. It's expensive. So worth it. The more I look into his education, the more I realize how important it is to develop his spirituality as well as his academic skills. Inshaallah, we will also be saving to send him to college. I cant even think that far in advance, but I know that time will fly, and inshallah it will be nice to have the means to send him without sweating it out financially.

My God, I am so in love with this little guy. Everything has new meaning, every moment seems more precious, and the miracle of life is unfolding in front of my eyes.

Now onto the practical: I am wiped out. I feel pitiful lol. iBaby must feel the shift in routine, and hasnt been sleeping so great this week. Hubby and I are both back to being sleep deprived but inshallah it is only temporary. Tonight I arrived home at 1am, to find my little kitten bright eyed and bushy tailed. All smiles with his legs sticking up in the air. So seriously sweet and delicious he is. What a treat to come home to this. I cant get anything done. Im so tired in the morning and afternoon, that I am lucky if I manage to get fresh air. When he rises at about 8am, we spend about an hour feeding and playing, then he gets to watch mama straighten up the house, tidy up herself, get her clothes ready for work, prepare a simple meal, make a few phone calls- and then before I know it it's feeding time again. Then, I get to shower, pray, greet hubby and sometimes we all nap together for about an hour, and then I leave.

Feedings: Ive been giving baby formula, and supplementing with expressed milk (I can only get about 8 0z on a good day), and out of the blue, last week, I was just too exhausted to get up and warm a bottle, so I re-introduced iBaby to the breast, and he took it! Mashallah I was shocked. He is bigger and stonger now, and more able to latch on properly. Its been about one week, and I am not enough for him alone, but nursing him just a few times a day helps keep my milk supply up. If this does not last, I will not get all upset. I have told myself that this brief experience with him is a gift, and I am just treasuring each moment. Im glad to have the experience, and to know what it is like to nurse him without all the drama and tears. Alhamdulillah.

I know everything will fall into place soon, I just need to have more patience :)

Gotta run, time to sleep!

Assalamu alaykum all :)

Alhamdulillah it's been 9 1/2 weeks since iBaby has graced us with his arrival. In about two weeks, I will be returning to work, full-time, in the evening. My heart is breaking, as he is getting cuter each day, and now he has a repertoire of tricks at bedtime, that I will miss, five nights a week. I'm not worried for his well being, as he will be home with Baaba who is in amazing father, and who will give him so much TLC inshaallah.

I'm just feeling deflated/sad/heartache for being away from him. I cannot work days- because then iBaby would be in daycare 9 hours a day, and I am not willing to do that.

My God. Mashaallah he is so soft and sweet. His legs are chubby and cute. He's very calm and easy going- and loves to smile, coo and make baby noises. Four days ago, he found his hands and now they are in his mouth frequently. Sometimes I put him down for a nap, and when I walk back into the room, I hear him sucking. He still loves to be swaddled at night, and when I'm all finished wrapping him, he gives me a huge gummy grin and loves to be cuddled. We then head to the rocking chair for some quiet time. He stays awake and just looks at me, and I feel like I'm the best thing ever. I will miss this.

So, what I want to know is: how do you all cope with returning to work? Do you have a strategy for getting things done at home, as your time is limited? How do you juggle your husbands, and children and your own needs? Does anyone have any helpful hints that you would like to share? Even your smallest tip or idea could be helpful...

Alhamdulillah for the opportunity to work. Alhamdulillah for my education and skill that allows me to help provide. Alhamdulillah for a hard working husband ( and outstanding father to our son) who will begin graduate school in September. Alhamdulillah for our healthy baby boy, and may Allah swt protect him always.

Can someone please tell me why spaces are not showing up in between my paragraphs??? It is very annoying and ugly to read.

Alhamdulillah yesterday I had some free time without iBaby. I had reservations about being away from him, BUT my husband was with him and he actually convinced me that getting out and clearing my mind would be good for me! He was right! I missed iBaby while gone, but it wasn't terrible. I think if he had not been with his Baaba, I would have felt differently, or maybe I would not have gone. I got in my car and drove. Oh my, did it feel good. I cranked up some Frank Sinatra ("All of Me") and enjoyed every measure. It so reminded me of my mother, she would clean the house on Sunday morning to her favorite music, Sinatra being one of her all time fave artists. I was gone about 1 1/2 hrs, ran a few errands and just enjoyed it.

"You know- you got the part, that once was my heart......so why not, why not take all of me"

Oh- I had a post-op check up with my OB/GYN on Friday, and she went absolutely nuts over iBaby. She even remembered that he has fuzz on his ankles and shoulders! We took a few snapshots of them together, and then talked about health. Are you ready???

I am 49, yes FORTY-NINE pounds lighters than my first pregnancy visit! Can you believe that? I almost fainted! Everyone has been telling me that I look like Ive melted away and look great, but I'm so tired, and still recovering- so I don't feel it. Alhamdulillah I developed really good eating habits during pregnancy due to diabetes and chronic hypertension, to protect iBaby, and in the end, I reaped a huge benefit. I no longer have to take anti-hypertensive medication, and my blood glucose no longer needs to be monitored! Mashaallah! The breakdown: I lost 22lbs during the pregnancy and 27 after delivery! Oh yea! All this eating every 2 hours, and choosing the right foods- and we had plenty of calories too. I hope inshaallah I can continue on this path to loose 35 more lbs, and be in the best shape possible for my son, and my family. I want to run and play with him, as well as show him how to take care of the bodies Allah swt gave us. My husband and I want to get bikes so we can take nature trails through our gorgeous parks. I would like to start hiking- we've got lots of trails and nature walks around us. Alhamdulillah.

Finally- all the Arabian styled clothing my husband's family sent me is starting to fit, and I am sure they would love to see me in it. I would love to wear some of it too- there are a few gorgeous abayas/jilbabs (whats the difference???) that would be perfect for the Eids.

Each day, I find new hope and new joy- I am finally starting to feel like a true mommy (it took a few weeks), and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Assalamu alaykum ;)

Assalamu alaykum all,

I've got a few minutes to spare, and I'm typing with one hand, so here are some details!

*Born two weeks ago
*7 lbs 9 1/2 oz
*22 in. long
*Loudest cry/squeal on earth
*Loves to be held, especially by Baaba
*Loathes diaper and clothing changes
*Big feet
*Covered in black fuzz from head to toe (and I love it!)

I actually managed to get a shower before 6pm, and it felt ohhh so good.

I'm dreading my husband's return to work Monday. He has been my rock.

As'salamu alaykum one and all.

If I don't go into labor this week, I will be induced Friday evening. Can you believe it? We cannot. Inshaallah it will be a smooth and sound process. We just want baby to be healthy.

I stopped working last Monday, and that gave me a nice opportunity to recover from the wicked case of bronchitis, as well as tie up some loose ends and get ready for baby. Nesting is complete. My husband can't stop smiling, as he is waiting patiently.

The past few days have been one of the most beautiful and peaceful periods in my life. It's been a time of reflection, supplication and expectation. Each prayer with my husband has become more precious, as I know that it will stop for a while after our son is born. I've never felt more IN love, in my life.

My husband and I decided to write letters for a keepsake book we have started for our baby. His is in Arabic, mine in English. I have always envied that my husband is multi lingual/literate. My husband wrote three pages, and read it to me last night when he came home from work at 3:00 am.

It was the most beautiful and emotionally raw/naked moment we have had in a long time. He bared his soul to his son, and when it became to much for him, he paused. The pauses, caused me flooding tears and immense joy. I never enjoyed hearing my husband's voice, so much, ever. His thoughts were humble, kind, educated, understanding, gentle and tender. I am still reeling. My GOD, I am incredibly blessed. What a beautiful gift. For that moment, time stood still, and I realized that we needed it.

When it was my turn to read my letter out loud, I couldn't. The tears were overwhelming, yet soothing. My husband just comforted me like never before. When I began reading, he became so quiet and still, he kept nodding his head, and then he began to cry.

Never in my life, do I recall such a beautiful moment in time. I know the best is yet to come, but this was one of those precious experiences that never leave a soul. My GOD, please know that I thank you from the bottom of my heart for it.

After we were done, he rested his head on my bosom and caressed my big belly in the dark. The most unusual bird, started singing alone- there were no others. That is when we realized it was time for fajr. The bird was singing and praising, and I didn't want it to stop. We prayed, reflected, then drifted off to the most peaceful sleep.

I never could have planned this.

Alhmdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything in this life and the next.

iMuslimah

As'salamu alaykum ;)

For those of you who have been kind enough to read my pointless blog, I thank you.

We are expecting our first munchkin, and while I am in my mid thirties and have had the benefit of watching my siblings raise their children; I don't REALLY know what to expect. Here I am, with my unborn son squirming around in my belly, loving him endlessly and wishing my due date would get here. I have this intimate relationship with him already, but once again, I have no idea what comes next.

I will love him more than life.

My love for my husband will continue to increase exponentially.

I am willing to LIVE for my son, not just give my life.

I will love rocking him to sleep.

I will be nervous about so many people holding him.

I will be anxious to inspect him from head to toe at birth.

I think his hair will be as fine as kitten fur.

I will experience true exhaustion like never before.

I will feel guilty and cry my eyes out when I return to work full-time.

I will forever cherish this gift that Allah swt has bestowed upon us.

That's about all I know right now. I hope I am right. Inshallah I hope it's better than what I think I know. Alhamdulillah for everything.

Today, I am consumed with love- the kind of love that causes restless sleep and random daydreams while doing things that normally require one's full attention such as driving, and praying astaghfirullah; my concentration is wrecked. I don't feel like this every single day, but every once in a while, I have a spell, where I truly internalize how blessed I am in this life, and it puts me in a trance that lasts a few days. Please don't misunderstand me. I am eternally grateful for everything Allah (swt)has graced me with, but these feelings are very special and very intense. Alhamduillah for everything in this life and the next.

I wrote this in the begninning of July 2007. We discovered we were pregnant about three weeks later.

As'salamu alaykum.