UmmOmar Back to Work

As'salamu alaykum one and all.

Before I ramble, I must say two things:

1. Alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything Allah subhana wa ta'ala has blessed me with.
2. A special thank-you to my husband, for everything has done for our budding family. I miss not being home with you in the evening.

I went back to work one week ago. It was crazy- more hectic than I remember. Three and a half months flew by quickly. I was dreading it; I cried non-stop for about three days prior to my return, and then the moment I actually had to tear myself away from my baby bear- I completely lost my composure. I must have kissed him a hundred times, and told him how much I loved him. The little stinker was in my husbands arms, and when I turned away from him to walk out, he followed me with his little coconut head, drooling and cooing. Oh, my heart ached all night long.

With that said, there are blessings here. I was/am not at all worried for iBaby's well being, as he is always with his father when I am working. My husband is a champ, he does it all- from diaper changes, to baths, entertainment, feedings, laundry, cooking and moral support. I do the same for him while he is at work. I can see they joy in his face when he is taking care of baby. It is really, really beautiful to see, and I can't stop smiling when I think of the two of them. My husband truly is my best friend, and has done everything in his power to make my transition back to work as easy as possible. I hope he reads this.

I miss my son. I long to see his chubbly little face when Im at work. It is all I can think about, and what gets me through the night, is that Inshaallah when I leave work, I head home to my family. I love it. I have a family. Not two of us, but three. Three is wonderful. I never though I would love the number three so much.

I was greeted with so much happiness and excitement when I returned to work. My colleagues were happy to have me back, and it felt kind of good to get back into the swing of things. While I would probably stay home full time if I had the chance, I just keep focusing on the positive aspects, like helping support my fa mily- and it is a satisfying feeling.

We have decided to start saving for iBaby's education. Hopefully inshallah we will send him to an Islamic parochial school for his elementary education, as well as junior high & high school. It's expensive. So worth it. The more I look into his education, the more I realize how important it is to develop his spirituality as well as his academic skills. Inshaallah, we will also be saving to send him to college. I cant even think that far in advance, but I know that time will fly, and inshallah it will be nice to have the means to send him without sweating it out financially.

My God, I am so in love with this little guy. Everything has new meaning, every moment seems more precious, and the miracle of life is unfolding in front of my eyes.

Now onto the practical: I am wiped out. I feel pitiful lol. iBaby must feel the shift in routine, and hasnt been sleeping so great this week. Hubby and I are both back to being sleep deprived but inshallah it is only temporary. Tonight I arrived home at 1am, to find my little kitten bright eyed and bushy tailed. All smiles with his legs sticking up in the air. So seriously sweet and delicious he is. What a treat to come home to this. I cant get anything done. Im so tired in the morning and afternoon, that I am lucky if I manage to get fresh air. When he rises at about 8am, we spend about an hour feeding and playing, then he gets to watch mama straighten up the house, tidy up herself, get her clothes ready for work, prepare a simple meal, make a few phone calls- and then before I know it it's feeding time again. Then, I get to shower, pray, greet hubby and sometimes we all nap together for about an hour, and then I leave.

Feedings: Ive been giving baby formula, and supplementing with expressed milk (I can only get about 8 0z on a good day), and out of the blue, last week, I was just too exhausted to get up and warm a bottle, so I re-introduced iBaby to the breast, and he took it! Mashallah I was shocked. He is bigger and stonger now, and more able to latch on properly. Its been about one week, and I am not enough for him alone, but nursing him just a few times a day helps keep my milk supply up. If this does not last, I will not get all upset. I have told myself that this brief experience with him is a gift, and I am just treasuring each moment. Im glad to have the experience, and to know what it is like to nurse him without all the drama and tears. Alhamdulillah.

I know everything will fall into place soon, I just need to have more patience :)

Gotta run, time to sleep!

6 Birds Chirpin':

UmmAbdurRahman said...

subhanalllah I was just thinking about you and wondering how your return to work is going. thanks for the update. It's a wonderful yet tiring experience to be a new mom. Enjoy it while it lasts. I sat here reading this and remembered my time with my own little bundle of joy. My litte bundle of joy who will be starting kindergarten in just one month. Time flies..........salaam

Some1 said...

May Allaah make it easy for you!

Mr Organic

Safiyyah said...

Salaams Sis:

Wow, a beautiful update.

I'm so happy that the nursing is working out.

It is so awesome to read about your wonderful experiences.

May Allah (swt) bless you and your family/Ameen.

Umm Salihah said...

Assalam-alaikam Sister,
Ut's nice to hear that you've been able to breastfeed you're little one mash'Allah, I know how much it meant to you.

Wow you muct be pooped, little one and night shifts, good on your other half for being a proper husband and dad mash'Allah and helping out.

As Umm Abdurrahman says, this precious time flies by. Before you know it, he'll be too big to fit in the crook of your arm with his legs dangling over your arm and squirming all over the place.

Miss Muslimah said...

Aw,im happy for you.

Sounds like you have a wonderful family.

You know,I can totally relate to your feelings as far as breastfeeding.I wasnt able to breastfeed either....its a long story but I was only able to breast feed exclusively for like 2 weeks...and actually I wasnt really breastfeeding but pumping.At first I was hurt and frustrated but Allah knows best.Those feelings pass and you just learn to accept it as the qadr of Allah.
Dont fret, ibaby will be just fine,insha'alllah :)

iMuslimah said...

Salaams everyone:

Thank you for checking in on us:

Saffiyah, house the new habitat?

MissMuslimah, there were so many wretched emotions, and I had trouble accepting them. Maybe I was being tested. For now, things are good. I am enjoying the experience! He still gets bottle with formula when Im working, but Ive made peace with it :) All is well alhamdulillah!

Umm Salihah: I am more exhausted than I ever thought I could be. No matter how prepared I thought I was, Im not LOL. Man, what I would do for regular sleep!

UmmAbdu: Gosh he is growin like a weed. Time is flying, and I can barely remember what he felt like in my arms at a week old. How are you feeling about kindergarten? It must be exciting and emotional, please keep us posted!

Mr Organic: Ameen to your duas and thank you so much ;)