Hijabification

As'salamu alaykum one and all.

Before I ramble, I must say two things:

1. Alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything Allah subhana wa ta'ala has blessed me with.
2. A special thank-you to my husband, for everything has done for our budding family. I miss not being home with you in the evening.

I went back to work one week ago. It was crazy- more hectic than I remember. Three and a half months flew by quickly. I was dreading it; I cried non-stop for about three days prior to my return, and then the moment I actually had to tear myself away from my baby bear- I completely lost my composure. I must have kissed him a hundred times, and told him how much I loved him. The little stinker was in my husbands arms, and when I turned away from him to walk out, he followed me with his little coconut head, drooling and cooing. Oh, my heart ached all night long.

With that said, there are blessings here. I was/am not at all worried for iBaby's well being, as he is always with his father when I am working. My husband is a champ, he does it all- from diaper changes, to baths, entertainment, feedings, laundry, cooking and moral support. I do the same for him while he is at work. I can see they joy in his face when he is taking care of baby. It is really, really beautiful to see, and I can't stop smiling when I think of the two of them. My husband truly is my best friend, and has done everything in his power to make my transition back to work as easy as possible. I hope he reads this.

I miss my son. I long to see his chubbly little face when Im at work. It is all I can think about, and what gets me through the night, is that Inshaallah when I leave work, I head home to my family. I love it. I have a family. Not two of us, but three. Three is wonderful. I never though I would love the number three so much.

I was greeted with so much happiness and excitement when I returned to work. My colleagues were happy to have me back, and it felt kind of good to get back into the swing of things. While I would probably stay home full time if I had the chance, I just keep focusing on the positive aspects, like helping support my fa mily- and it is a satisfying feeling.

We have decided to start saving for iBaby's education. Hopefully inshallah we will send him to an Islamic parochial school for his elementary education, as well as junior high & high school. It's expensive. So worth it. The more I look into his education, the more I realize how important it is to develop his spirituality as well as his academic skills. Inshaallah, we will also be saving to send him to college. I cant even think that far in advance, but I know that time will fly, and inshallah it will be nice to have the means to send him without sweating it out financially.

My God, I am so in love with this little guy. Everything has new meaning, every moment seems more precious, and the miracle of life is unfolding in front of my eyes.

Now onto the practical: I am wiped out. I feel pitiful lol. iBaby must feel the shift in routine, and hasnt been sleeping so great this week. Hubby and I are both back to being sleep deprived but inshallah it is only temporary. Tonight I arrived home at 1am, to find my little kitten bright eyed and bushy tailed. All smiles with his legs sticking up in the air. So seriously sweet and delicious he is. What a treat to come home to this. I cant get anything done. Im so tired in the morning and afternoon, that I am lucky if I manage to get fresh air. When he rises at about 8am, we spend about an hour feeding and playing, then he gets to watch mama straighten up the house, tidy up herself, get her clothes ready for work, prepare a simple meal, make a few phone calls- and then before I know it it's feeding time again. Then, I get to shower, pray, greet hubby and sometimes we all nap together for about an hour, and then I leave.

Feedings: Ive been giving baby formula, and supplementing with expressed milk (I can only get about 8 0z on a good day), and out of the blue, last week, I was just too exhausted to get up and warm a bottle, so I re-introduced iBaby to the breast, and he took it! Mashallah I was shocked. He is bigger and stonger now, and more able to latch on properly. Its been about one week, and I am not enough for him alone, but nursing him just a few times a day helps keep my milk supply up. If this does not last, I will not get all upset. I have told myself that this brief experience with him is a gift, and I am just treasuring each moment. Im glad to have the experience, and to know what it is like to nurse him without all the drama and tears. Alhamdulillah.

I know everything will fall into place soon, I just need to have more patience :)

Gotta run, time to sleep!