Hijabification

He just loves wearing his new snow boots in the house, with no pants on. It is the cutest thing. He struts around like he's the new mayor in town!

He's got just a bit of status chubbicus left in his meaty little legs. Oh it pains me to see the pudgy legs go, but he's growing into a toddler now!

Oh How I love Eid Swaps. Well- Since I've only swapped with my homeslice HMM aka UmmSalihah , I should clarify that I adore Eid Swapping with her! Everything she does is so incredibly thoughful; take a look at this:


The beautiful handmade eid card with a lovely message inside.


Gorgeous Bobbi Brown eye shadows, skin and foot treatments, and lovely beaded bracelets. I am loving the Saudi, alcohol free perfume. Its a musk, which is my favorite- it just agrees with my body chemistry.



Chocolate (some not pictured hehe), Sohan Halwa, henna and miswak! PLUS fantastic CD for my son, by Yusuf Islam (aka Cat Stevens)......the songs are so adorable, especially "Ramadan Moon". I am so very thankful for this. iBaby LOVES it.


Three very off the hook GORGEOUS hijabs. Im lookin' good these days thanks to HMM!

I picked up the package on Eid, my mail carrier doesnt like to leave pakcages at the door (Im so appreciative that has concern for other's belongings). It came just in time, as my stress levels were alarming because of the impending move, and it totally caused me to take a step back, reflect, and be thankful :)

Thanks sis, it's perfect :)

What a week it has been. I am so relieved that the big move is over and that alhamdulillah we are very happy in our new apartment. We were cramped in a 600 square foot upstairs apartment with one bedroom, and finally found a great apartment with two bedrooms, groud floor, private entrance and approx 1000 square feet! It is so freeing, in so many ways to be here. No more clutter, more closets, iBaby has his own room now and adjusted immediately. We are all sleeping much better. My only regret is that we didn't do this sooner, however we waited to get the best deal possible.

Eid was OK. Alhamdulillah we are well, and lived to see another one. We moved right smack in the middle of Eid, so we didn't do anything special. My hub went for Eid prayer, and I stayed home with a coughing, sniffling little boy. He is OK, had a touch of croup.

Inshaallah I am excited to have more space, and now we can have family and friends over for dinner. So many jumped in to help us move last weekend. My husband would like us to make an authentic Tunisian meal to thank them all for their time.

I have been off from work for about a week, and how I loved it. I went back to work this yesterday hamdullah, but I miss being home with my little tribe. My son is now communicating with two words at a time, and it KILLS me to be away. Last night as I was leaving, my son looked at me and ask " I come?". I got in my car and cried. He is too sweet for words. The other day I was feeling a little weepy about a few things, and I started to cry. The little bear came up to me and asked "u cy-in, u ok?".

Im driving a loaner car from the dealership we got my wheels from. Our car has had some serious problems that cant seem to be fixed. It has less than 10,000 miles, and I certianly hope we don't have a lemon on our hands inshaallah.

We had a new bed delivered to our new place the day we moved in. Buying a mattress is basically a gamble. There is really no way to know, in the showroom, if laying on a bed for 15 seoncds is going to really give you an idea of what it will belike to sleep on it. Our first night here, we were drop dead exhausted, beyond what we thought possible. We managed to eat, get showers and we COULD NOT WAIT to go to sleep. It was like sleeping on concrete. My husband ended up on the couch, and I seriously contemplated the floor. What a dissappointment! We have decided to give it time, two weeks- before we send it back. So far- its getting really comfortable!!! I think its a keeper!

That's about it for boring updates. i hope you are all well and had a very blessed Eid!

iMuslimah

And what a chaotic transition it has been.

Eid Mubarak Sisters!

We are moving today and tomorrow inshaAllah, and hopefully I can get back in here to vacum, clean and leave the place nice for the next person. Inshaallah I'll return to blogging monday or tuesday. Please keep us in your duas for a smooth transition and easy move.

Hugs to you all!

I need to give thanks. Right now. This very second. Alhamdulillah infinity.

My God, what have I done to deserve such good things? I often feel I am not living the way you want me to.

I have never been more in love in my life. Our son is on the cusp of 19 months old, and he is the purest joy, the purest love, the purest laughter, and the purest light. There are times when I cannot wrap my brain around the love I have for him. Its endless, timeless, and transcends the boundaries of my heart. His belly laughter slays me. His scent is sublime. There is still some evidence of status chubbicus left (aka chubby thighs, cheeks and tooshy) although they are dimishing rapidly since he has taken to running, climbing and jumping non-stop.

After his birth the depression set in, and it took a while to lift. When I look back I feel guilty for having complained about it, and for having felt so deprived of a naturual birth and crying endlessly over nursing struggles. Whatever it was, it was all God's plan. I realize now I had a failed induction and that's that. Ive accpepted it for what it is, I cant change it and there are no do-overs. Having a c-section meant we were saved from other complications and meant that my son would makes swift entrance into this world with literally no more stress. Why couldnt I see this then? My mind was clouded by fatigue, baby blues, and unrealistc expectations. In the end we were granted a full-term healthy baby boy, and that is truest blessing ever.

Im not sure what prompted this post. I suspect its due to reading some very heartbreaking things in the news and the blogosphere. I also suspect my thoughts are in part influenced by our upcoming move this weekend. We are leaving the place that our baby knows as home. This is where we brought him to begin our journey. This is where he slumbered like a prince in his bassinette, in the center of the living room, whilst our loved ones streamed in and out to admire him, and profess their insane love for him. I also suspect that my feelings are brought forth by our impending Eid Kabir InshaAllah. What more appropriate time to think about our children, when Ibrahim agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice for the love and sake of Allah swt?

We are goingn to start building memories someplace else now. InshaAllah it will be happy memories. We are going to build a future someplace else now (down the road lol), InshaAllah it will be a bright and rewarding future.

I'll probably be without internet for a bit starting on Eid- so InshaAllah I hope you all have a blessed Eid Al Adha. Enjoy one another. I cant wait to hear Takbir at the masjid if we can go!

Assalamu alaykum,

iMuslimah & Co.

Outrageous, handcrafted "Happy Eid" Banner


Blingy, bejeweled bangles (love. them.)


Over-the-top milk chocolate and henna!


Last but not least, gorgeous and feminine shaylas with matching undercaps.
Not shown: Hunter green undercap (in the wash at moment), it is a perfect match for my sheer shayla in all shades of green.
Also not pitcured: Hunk of "Happy Eid" milk chocolate that lasted 0.2 nanoseconds.
Regretfully not pictured either: Thoughtful handcrafted Eid card, with picture of her adorable children inside!!!!

AOA one and all:


Things have been BANANAS here, but hamdullah all is well. We are preparing to move soon inshaallah, so Ive been a bit ovewhelmed these days, BUT I did not want to forget to do this long-overdue post.


I received a lovely parcel from my dear sis, UmmSalihah for Eid ul Fitr, here are some pics of the loot!

There are no words to describe how much I cherish every item that was thoughtfully inlcuded in this gift. Everytime I wear my new shaylas, I think of my new friend across the pond!

Jazzakullah Khair sister for your kindness :)

So. Stressed. Out.

Assalamu alaykum everyone & Eid Mabrouk!

Eid was such a good day for us! While I intended to stay home with iMuffin while my husband attended Eid prayer, that isn't how it worked out. Early in the morning while I was blissfully asleep my husband must of thought it would be nice if iCutie was in bed with me (not). Almost instantly, I felt little fingers being jammed up my nose and in my ears, followed by hair pulling being ridden like a horsey. My husband took him out of bed at my behest, and then proceeded to torture me about what they both were going to wear to the masjid. At that point, I was annoyed, aggravated and most notable AWAKE, so I decided to go with them. When we arrived the first Eid service was concluding and Mashaallah, what a surprise, instead of letting the ladies balcony get dangerously overcrowded, they made comfortable prayer areas outside for spill-over. I was psyched to pray outside! BUT- we attended the second service, and there was no spill over, so I prayed inside. It was QUIET and not overcrowded. I really enjoyed.

As prayer was in progress, and as I listened to the recitation of Allah's divine message for us humans, it all hit me- how tiny I am- we all are in this universe, that I am not the first Muslim, nor the last to walk this path and how much work I have ahead of me, and just how LUCKY I am to be Muslim and to have Islam. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, so I looked straight down at my feet, and that's when I noticed.......that the tiny 4 year old girl next to me had a sixth toe. That just about snapped me out of my cry fest, but nonetheless I was happy to be joined in prayer with a child, and realized just how UNIQUE we all are.

The Khutba was really good. I'm not a saavy cerebral person. I usually take note of a few key things, and the rest just kind of gets lost on me. What was most impressionable to me was how the Sheikh explained to us that the Quran and our Fasts will be present on judgement day to intervene our behalf. Can you imagine that? It really struck me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. This was my Ramadan 2009 Epiphany.

Worthy of mention- what a beautiful sight the masjid was this day. All the women were dressed in their best. The masjid in our area predominantly serves the Pakistan community; a very well dressed, and affectionate community I might add! Oh how I loved the colors, the style and trends these women displayed. There were bangles and ribbons, beads and sequins, embroidery and vivid color, gorgeous shaylas, abayas, pant suits and niqabs. The children were adorned in the finest garments and running about with balloons. I ran into several people I know, and it was very nice to see them. iBaby wouldnt even crack a smile for my friends! Instead he knitted his eyebrows together and pouted his lips whenever one of them talked to him. Occasionally he muttered "ooooooh, nooooooo" and looked away in disgust! I was horrified! When the service was over and the imam declared Eid Mubarak, I received hugs from complete strangers and strangely I didn't get all uncomfortable!

I walked away from the service feeling good. We were supposed to have dinner with my family but my step-father got sick and we cancelled. Instead- we had lunch at home, skyped with my husbands family abroad, laughed and just chilled out. My mom stopped by to wish us a happy Eid, brought my husband his favorite homemade banana cake and gave iBunny a gift. We had a gift for her too. It was nice! I didn't even cook! My lovely sister made us dinner. That was a relief, as we were running on empty in terms of energy, and that gaves us a nice break.

We also received some good news this day; my SIL gave birth to her fourth child, and both mom and baby are in good health hamdullah! Time to shop and make cards, yippey!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are very blessed. Alhamdulillah- I wish it wasn't over and I look forward to Ramadan 2010 INSHAALLAH!!!!

I hope you all had a special day.....

iMuslimah

Eid Mubarak sisters! The last day of Ramadan was a lovely one, and we really enjoyed ourselves. We took our little boy to a cutting arboretum and park (gorgeous I tell you, gorgeous) and ran with him through acres of lush greenery shaded with giant, majestic Oak trees. My son especially enjoyed running through the hills chasing the poor geese. He kept calling them "doggy" and they just kept running from him. It was adorable. Afterwards, we decided we would not cook tonight, and went to our favorite Turkish restaurant for take out, and brought it home. It was perfect. iBaby liked it too, and ate well hamdullah. After Maghrib we wished each other Eid Mubarak, and reflected upon some stuff, and just relaxed on the couch whilst baby just ran through his repertoire of tricks for us, followed by some homemade ice cream sundaes.

The three of us drifted off to sleep fairly early, and of course I am now wide awake at 3am.

I am a little sad that Ramadan is over.

We don't have any plans to visit with any Muslims (we know very few), but hamdullah, my mother and step-father have wished us a happy Eid and will be making dinner for us today at 4pm in honor of Eid. Isn't that nice???? It will be good to see them, and we will bring them some sweets and gifts.

So my gal pals, I hope you all have had a beneficial Ramadan and a Happy Eid, I am thinking of you all.

iMuslimah

Inshaallah we are celebrating Eid tomorrow :) Inshaallah it will be joyful!

UmmSalihah sent me a package that is literally bursting at the seams (and I suspect it did because the mail carrier brought it to me wrapped in rubberbands!) and I cannot wait to open it. As promised, I am waiting until tomorrow to raid the loot!

Thank you sister, for being so thoughful. Im sure I will enjoy it!

Until tomorrow inshaallah,

iMuslimah

Ramadan Mubarak sisters!

May Allah accept our fasts, our intentions and renew our iman, Ameen!

Above: 4 mat pads, 24 sheets each $2.50 US / ea. UNHEARD OF!!!!!


Above: Pack of 50 blank cards (5x7in or 12,7cm x 17,7cm for my friends abroad) $5.00 US
Pack of mini blank cards (43/4 x 3 3/4in or 12cm x 9,5cm) $1.00 / ea.
Pack of baby themed appliques $1.27 / ea.
Glittery alphabet & hearts $1.97 / ea.

I did get a few rubber and acrylic stamps but I am too lazy to take pics.


Alhamdulillah my son is better! No fever, no rash, back to normal, so we left the house to go shopping at Walmart with iGrandma. I also scored some cheap washable Crayola jumbo markers and washable Crayola beginner crayons for iBaby. iHubster was working all day, so this was the perfect opp to shop for bargains, since my mom has enormous patience and loved strolling the cart with iBaby in it.

Afterwards we went to a local diner for dinner, and iBaby was nothing short of a menace at the table. He is 15 months now, and throws everything. It is hard to teach them the true meaning of NO at this age. He is starting to gain an awareness, because now he references me with a glance before he hurls things. He has also mastered ripping his diaper off from underneath his shorts. Fortunately he's only done it a few times, at home, with nothing in it. Whew.

Tonight we watched CNN's Christine Amanpour present "Generation Islam". I missed the first hour, and caught the last half that took place in Gaza. I couldn't stop crying, seeing the damage, destruction, disruption and trauma the children are facing. I saw all these little children running loose in rubble and amongst other dangerous things, hungry and feeling hopeless. Very emotional. I would like to see the first hour, so Ive set the DVR.

Well, once again this was a craftless night. Tomorrow night inshaallah is mine! When iHubcap & iBaby fall asleep, I will tip toe out and craft myself into a cocoon with the "bumper stash" UmmSalihah sent me :)

I took this coming Tuesday off from work inshaallah, to try to prepare some different kinds of soups that I can freeze for Ramadan. I'm looking forward to this, as I am starting to get excited that our holy month is almost here. If anyone has any recipes they would like to share, hook a sistah up!

Here are some greeting cards that I have not yet added messages to- I intend to personalize them as needed. I had a lot of fun with these.



Here are a few Eid/Ramadan cards; the letter decals are very obvious in the photo due to strong flash, but to the naked eye, you cant see that they are decals unless you look very closely.


Here are a few baby cards Ive done; sorry for the poor focus.


Here are some more blanks that I will personalize as needed!

She most certainly did- UmmSalihah that is!

Of course, and most notable, was the thoughtful and sincere UmmSalihah original enclosed:


Imagine my excitement when I dug deeper to find all this bling! And sticker art!



And then my creative monkeys began stirring when I found these:


You see, I have recently been inspired to craft my own greeting cards after reading UmmSalihah's blog. I absolutely love the craft, and find it to be very relaxing.

Sister, thank you from the bottom of my heart and may Allah bless you for such a thoughtful and lovely gift!

iMuslimah

Assalamu alaykum,

Sorry for the absence folks. Ive been too busy as usual, and finding nothing interesting about my daily grind to write about.

Well, my little luv bug is almost 15 months old! Can you believe that? I cannot. He is suddenly starting to use little words (so cute!), and my favorite is OK. It's just hilarious when he uses it.

My sister has a private home with a HUGE private yard and a pool :) Her husband is out of town for a few weeks, so i saw prime opportunity to go SWIMMING! Mashaallah what a terrific day we had. It was just my two sisters, mother and our little kids. Oh how wonderful it felt to be submerged in a giant pool of cool refreshing water. I felt like a kid. I have not been swimming in 4 years because we could never come up with a halal scenario. I took my little guy in with me, and he LOVED it. He was just splashing, and laughing, smiling and blinking the entire time. It felt wonderful to feel so fresh and weightless, not to mention carefree. Afterwards, my son and I just ran around the yard kicking a ball and investigating nature. He loved watching the older kids play volleyball. We BBQ'd and had ice cream too.

Today was the perfect, relaxed, fun and carefree summer day. Alhamdulillah it was truly a gift to spend this fun time with the people I love, and for it to be halal and worry free. I hope we can do it again inshaallah. I think my son had a wonderful time. He passed out shortly after dinner and a bath, and is sprawled out in his crib looking so peaceful in his body hugging jammies. mashaallah. Love the belly and chubby legs.

Maybe next time, us ladies can vacate the premises, and my husband can go for a dip with the fellas. I would love for him to have a relaxing day too.

Blogging is such a widespread, almost viral practice these days, and sometimes I am surprised if not shocked by content!

Here's a question for my Muslim sistahs......

Do you feel it is OK to post photographs of other people you don't know, (strangers, celebrities, models etc..) to demonstrate something that we Muslimahs should or more likely shouldn't be doing?

For those of you who may be wondering about my views, I am not totally against photography, I actually love the craft, but generally stick to the landscape kind. Photographs of my family are not displayed in my home, nor do I publish their faces on this blog, after much deliberation. I do on occasion, email photographs to those near and dear, to update them on iBaby.

Please leave a comment, I would love to know what you all have to contribute to this discussion!

Salams,

iMuslimah

Assalamu alaykum sisters !

I frequently ponder what I would do with a million dollars if I actually possessed it. I keep coming back to the same thoughts. Realistically it would take millions, but who's counting?

I have this recurrent vision of building an Islamic institution, and I would call it "The Islamic Center for Women and Children". I often feel that women are missing out on many benefits of the deen in the USA because masjids are generally small, poor and cannot accommodate space for us. MashAllah I see local masjids striving to reach out, but as the muslim population increases it is becoming more difficult financially.

I imagine a very large, modern building (approx 10,000 square feet), with all kinds of amenities including classrooms, a lecture hall with seating, multiple prayer rooms, offices, counseling, a health clinic and a food pantry for those in need. There would be a fitness center and a swimming pool. A "board" of sorts would be organized to coordinate educators, guest speakers, volunteers, donations, dawah, sanitation, maintenance, expenses, social functions and networks, and qualified caretakers to watch over the little ones when "mom" would like to pray in peace, attend a lecture or exercise. Children would have the opportunity to attend classes and workshops. There will be a large working kitchen. There will be stroller parking (for those of you that have seen hazards in local masjids will understand this very well). There will be no basements. There will be ample air conditioning and a working PA system. There would be an all-female security staff. There would even be transportation available for those who have none. Oh yes, and of course there will be amenities to cater to women and children with special needs, whether it be physical, emotional or mental.

As a result of this initiative, the muslimah community would strengthen and broaden- which would directly benefit society. We would benefit each other. Stronger women=stronger marriages=stronger families=stronger society...all for the sake of Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

I realize this may all sound naive, because I am sure that this would be a major task with enormous responsibility and endless funding.

Of course, I wouldn't mind a little personal indulgence, but that wasn't the purpose of this post.

Ultimately, I am thankful to Allah for everything he has bestowed upon my husband and I. If I never have millions, it's all good. I just cant see having it and not sharing it.

What would you do if you had millions?

Assalamu alaykum,

Please visit happymuslimah and offer your duas for our sister!

Thank you!

SubhanAllah.

This time last year, I was a brand new mom. Twenty-four hours fresh into the unknown. The unexpected. The unforgettable.

I flip through photographs of my shining star, and I cannot believe that he has morphed into what he is, right in front of my eyes. It's like it happened yesterday, and it's almost heartbreaking to think that the precious infant I held in my arms that day, is long gone- replaced by a newer and improved version of edible cuteness, haughty freshiness, and one outrageously vocal little (halal) ham. OK- second thought: Lamb Chop.

Life with Omar is becoming more dynamic and challenging each day. It is clear his cognitive skills are really blossoming, and his motor skills are sharpening. To witness a child learning is a treasure. I wish I could savor each and every moment of interaction with him. His greatest achievement thus far is- giving kisses. My baby is learning to show and express love. Isn't that grand?

I wish we could have a mini-scaled down birthday party for him. Just love, cake, grandma and grandpa. Instead, I brought him to see them in the morning so they could have breakfast with him. I was so proud of them, that they never once uttered the phrase "happy birthday". I know it was hard for them. The rest of the day, my husband and I carried on as if it were any other day. I quietly kept reflecting, for the day my son was born, I will never, ever forget. We ended the day with a lovely trip to the beach, for it was unusually warm.

So you ask, why the title of this post? This has been the most rewarding and demanding experience of my life. The first few weeks of his life were super difficult. I finally realize that I deserve some credit for keeping it together......iMuslimah, you rocked it!

Alhamdulillah wu shurku lillah.

Assalamu alaykum-

Oh I have been neglectful of my little blog. Where does the time go?

InshaAllah next week I will be off from work for NINE DAYS! Woohoo! I can't wait to assume some normalcy. I am very much looking forward to it, as is my husband (and if my son could speak he would agree!).

Not too much going on here. Been very busy with son, family, work. Life in full swing as usual alhamdulillah. MashaAllah husband is loving new job. Baby is going to be ONE in a few days. Wow- the idea takes my breath away. More to come on this subject. I am certain I will be reflecting a LOT in the days to come.

Deen is a little weak, I am not confortable with that- so I hope to take advantage of some Iman boosters inshaAllah. This weekend, the three of us will be going to family night at the masjid. MashaAllah its is a busy masjid, there will be a lecure, and then a community pot-luck afterwards. I look forward to seeing my fellow muslimahs as well as meeting new ones. Due to work obligations I am somewhat removed from interacting with the sisterhood here on a regular basis ( I work evenings to be home with my son), and it is to my detriment to some degree BUT I take comfort in being with iBaby most of the day. InshaAllah in May we are going to a HUGE HUGE HUGE Islamic convention, and I can't wait!!!!!

That's it for now, time to myself is up and bouncing baby boy is patiently waiting for me to play with him!

Be good to each other,

iMuslimah

Hello my esteemed blogeress',

Today was lovely. I was off from work, got a decent nap this morning, had lunch with my sister and son, then went to Marshall's and splurged on a funky handbag I never thought I would carry. The colors are outrageous. I'll have to post a pic.

Also, while shopping in CVS, they had a sale on Maybelline Lash Stiletto Mascara (pictured above)....buy one get one free. Who can resist that? Not I. I must testify, that this stuff is the BUSINESS! It smells too floral, but hey. The lashes look fab. No curling needed. No clumps. I am already hooked. Go get some today.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am my own Kryptonite sometimes. I hold myself to ridiculous standards, and when I can't meet them, I go insane. At least I can admit it. Now to change it? That's the real challenge. I thought if I attempted to rectify big things in my life, that all the little things would fall into place. Not so, at least not for me. I have learned over the past few weeks, that if I address the little things, I have less big things to tackle. How's that for a wisdom nugget?

This may seem odd, but last week I took a night off from work to collect myself. I was feeling very overwhelmed and disorganized. Now- I'm sure some of you can identify that when your handbag looks like the county dump inside, it is a red flag that you are approaching wicked, emotional heifer status. Every time I looked, it seemed to be getting fatter and fatter. I had so many receipts and snippets of paper that I couldn't find my money or other necessary things. I Couldn't even get the bag to close. I must have looked like a travelling pack rat. It dawned on me, that I was in dire need of help when I went to the bank with my husband. When the banker asked for my ID, I had to unload my trunk on his desk, whilst things like pantyliners, and crumpled up tissues, and empty on-the-go baby formula packets popped out onto his desk. I know my husband was mortified.

How did it get this bad? Not allowing myself enough time to do anything. Not caring. Sleep deprivation. Stress. Ironically, the worse it got, the more stressed I became.

So, anyway (yes there is more)-

On my special night off, I spent THREE HOURS cleaning my trough of a handbag. I organized everything in it, then determined what got trashed and what was needed. I found about $10 worth of coin on the bottom, about $20 in singles all wrinkled up. After I was done, I tackled my wallet. What a task that was. I didn't realize how many unnecessary things were jammed in there.

I am happy to report, that my beautiful, favorite handbag has gone back to it's normal size, my wallet has assumed it's slim silhouette, and I can locate everything with ease. It has to be at least 5 lbs lighter. My whole world seems more organized. Everything has order; home, car, work.

I now see that my handbag, is life central for me. It's the nerve center of my daily activities. Since I am constantly on the go, it is always in use for one thing or another. It never occurred to me that it was so critical to my own well-being.

Assalamu alaykum one and all.

Inspired by the most humble and honest thoughts by Sister Fuzzy http://asks-muslimah.blogspot.com/2009/03/age-old-debate_26.html , I have the urge to share my own thoughts and feelings about being Muslim, observing hijab, and the impact it has on my daily life....

I am a revert to Islam since August 2005. I was born in and have lived in the USA my whole life. While there is no doubt that there is a lasting western influence in my lifestyle, I was pretty much modestly fashionable. Being a fuller figure/well nourished woman, I was more than aware of my body type and always wanted to look feminine, yet appropriate. I enjoyed getting my hair done, wearing nail polish, and generally took pride in my appearance. I felt lovely and soft.

Since wearing hijab, many blessings have come into my life; a thriving relationship with my husband, a beautiful little boy, a promotion at work, and people accepting for who I am and what I believe in, rather than what I look like. This is the ultimate freedom. Will life always be this easy? Inshaallah- but if not, my hijab will remind me that my faith is more important than anything, and like all things, doing them with GOD in my life will certainly make them worthwhile and ultimately to my benefit, whether it be in this life or the next.


Since wearing hijab, I've noticed that I do not like my appearance at home, when I am not wearing it. My hair is matted to my head to the point where I can't even style it without washing it all over again. I look like a pathetic drowned water rat. There is no recovery from a look this bad. Honestly, by the end of a day off ( I am only home 2 nights a week, working full-time evenings)- the last thing I feel like doing is re-styling my locks or putting on make-up to spice things up. I know in my heart, in the recesses of my soul, that my husband, unquestionably loves me and is indeed attracted to me. The problem is that I am not attracted to me. It has gotten worse since the birth of my 11 month son. Now, I truly do not have a minute to spare without sacrificing something else that needs to be done. Ive manage to carve out about an hour at the end of my night (1 to 2am) where I just do "me" things....read the news, pluck the brows, take a long shower or blog a bit. That's it.

I also feel frumpy. I don't feel that my current wardrobe is very fashionable, because I believe I should keep things simple. Is that an excuse? Sound like one. Do I have the energy to put something together that is cuter? Not really. I don't wear an abaya; I am just not comfortable with it. I do own a few beautiful ones, and wear them on special occasions. Maybe someday I will be willing to wear abays, but for now it takes me deep into the discomfot zone. Every spring and summer I painfully hunt mainstream clothing stores for items that are appropriate for hijab. Sometimes I get lucky, and sometimes I don't. I get frustrated and depressed. I feel like I wear the same things over and over again, just in different colors! I have found a few lovely, long tunics at Shukr, and I have a plethora of long skirts. This spring I should have a greater variety of things to wear.

Going to work is a breeze- I wear scrubs and a lab coat down to my knees. I don't have to worry about coverage, as it is madatory for us to wear these things. They are actually quite comfy, and very loose fitting. I like to match my Al Amira undercaps to my scrubs LOL. Now that I am verbalizing these things, it has dawned on me that A) I am perpetually exahusted and nothing is appealing when you're tired B) I work five nights per week, and really only worry about weekend wardrobes which might be part of the reason I am lacking in this department. I dont get dressed up often enough.

How do I get to any resemblance of my former self? Is it even possible? I suppose someday inshaallah my work schedule will ease, and there will be time. For now- these days.......there are only two things I can guarantee when it comes to self caring; #1 showering #2 good oral hygiene and a basic skin care regimen. That's what gets my free time!

After writing this, I don't feel so bad.....

Oh yeah, I have a wedding to go to in July. This should send me in a wicked fit trying to find something appropriate and nice. Wish me luck. Better yet, wish my husband luck. Poor unsuspecting soul of the "I have nothing to wear" wilderbeast that is about to rear it's ugly head.

Yes, Ladies- it's real.

This sign is posted on a state owned beach upon which a national landmark is built. How is this fair? The attraction in the background received hundreds of tourists weekly during spring and summer. Unsuspecting visitors (such as myself) may walk the entire boardwalk to the ocean front not realizing what awaits them; people. Yes, lots and lots of men and women who like to tan their bits, frolic in the sea, and play volleyball- completely naked. And I have news for you- they aren't all spring chickens in their prime.

How I wish this wasn't so. How I wish there was a beach for religiously modest or just very conservative families; where clothing is not optional, thongs and speedos are a no-no, and our children could enjoy God's splendor without being subjected to haram habits. I know that in life, my son will be faced with many choices and decision, and that I cannot completely shield him from indecency, but this is where I draw the line. It's a painful one. I miss the beach. I want to build sand castles with my son and husband. I want to teach him to body surf someday. I want him to splash around in the surf and collect seashells. I suppose these joyful activities will wait until we go to my husband's home in N. Africa, where hijab is observed. I am looking forward to this inshaAllah.

I know that what awaits us in paradise inshaAllah, will be far more spectacular than anything we can experience on earth..........

Stick a fork in me, I am finished. I cannot find a template that really suits me. This is the last attempt for now. I loved the blue jeans, but it was a little hard to read. This one is much easier.

That said, I'm about to do some more baby proofing. We need to move some furniture around to make a better play area for my little Huggles. Hopefully I will be able to get to the toy store today, and get him safe toy chest for all his things. He loves to dig through his things, it keeps him busy for hours. For now, his toys are in a basket, and he takes them out, then puts them back in- over and over again. It's too cute.

My PC that I use soley for editing and storing photos took a dirt nap last night. I went out and bought a portable hard drive to back up my photos (all 14,000+ of them), and when I went to actually do it, my computer would not start. I think the power supply in the tower died. I'm totally annoyed, because now I will have to pay someone to back up my hard drive.

Lets not even talk about the fact that I have my photoshop proggie on the dead puter that is only for XP- and this laptop is vista. That was a dowload also. Currently I'm downloading trials of newer photoshop products to try on vista. They are super expensive. CS4 is about $700 USD. Im thinking of buying an older version of CS2 on e-bay for $150 USD. I'm so bummed out. I just took a bunch of new photos of Huggles with my new lens, and now I cant upload them and process them!

Moving on- I hope to get my hair done tonight. HijabiApprentice I know you will be appalled, but I have not had my hair cut since huggles was born, nor have I colored it. Four inches of grey roots (attractive). My sister is a hairdresser/make up artist, so inshAllah she will cut, color and highlight tonight. I need a pick me up. Feeling like dirty spittied up dish rag.

That's all for now. More later.

Ciao Bellas.

I'm about to loose my MIND with this bloggy template XML crap.

What do you think? Should I keep it? Is it easy to read? I hate busy blogs that make my eyes bug out. I love blue jeans. I love my baby boy in blue jeans. Too cute.

Having trouble customizing. I'll have to ponder this tomorrow. Feel free to leave advice.

Shukran ;)

I am absolutely appalled by what I've just read:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/technology/4611161/Rapelay-virtual-rape-game-banned-by-Amazon.html

What kind of sick and twisted individual would want ANY part of this? There's my answer- a sick and twisted one. How could this be a game? I am actually having trouble forming my words right now, because of how disturbed I am.

Has anyone else heard about this? I realize violence in video games is nothing new, but this takes things to a whole new level. It's almost like consumers are so so so satisfied by over-the-top technology and animation, that the manufacturers and developers have to come up with things like this to keep the attention of the virtual gaming culture.

I suppose I should not be surprised, women have been exploited for thousands of years, why should it stop now? In my opinion, rape has little to do with desire, it's about hatred directed at women.

Everything seems excessive these days; music, television, movies....people of all ages are constantly being bombarded with images and notions of immediate gratification and needful things. I can now see how the trend is leading to products like these. Disgusting.

I'm flat out sickened by this. Ya Allah, All Knowing, All Seeing, save us.

Please see last post.

Re: AMW/ALL MUSLIMAH

I was able to get on today with no trouble !!!! I am so happy! I didnt change anything, I dont know what happend. Perhaps it was Divine mini-intervention ;) I found a blo i really enjoyed too. Double bonus.

Thank you Brandy, for all your efforts to unite us!

Assalamu alaykum,

Sorry for the prolonged absence, been burning the candle at both ends, with little time to blog.

First things first- alhamdulillah wu shukru lillah for everything in this life and the next.

Shout out to Organica: Find joy in your journey. Those radical converse are bound to land you someplace interesting ;)

Life with baby, husband and two full time jobs between us has been a real challenge. We are exhuasted, irritable at times, and keep pushing forward. Fortunately iBaby is always with one of us, so he is thriving and happy.

I had an asthma attack last night. It started with a sinus infection, and by last night I couldn't lay down, I could only sit up straight and labor to breathe. At about 2am iHubcap wrapped iBaby in his blankets walked him two doors down to my sister's house and took me to the Emergency Room. I received prompt treatment and relief, and came home. I was really surprised by all this. I have been very well controlled with maintenance meds for almost a decade, and the infection just completely exacerbated my condition. I'll be on steroids for the rest of the week which means I will be a ferociously hungry and wicked wilderbeast for the next five days.

When I initially called my sister at 2am, I was hysterical. Being a veteran of asthma in my 36 years of life doesn't take away the fear. For those of you may wonder how awful it feels, it's like attempting to take a breath through a straw. I didn't want to leave my little bundle. I was afraid it would get worse. It wasn't severe enough to warrant an ambulance, but I knew I had to get to the hospital.

I hope inshaallah my little guy doesn't catch this sinus infection.

Tonight I felt strong enough to hold him (after nice hot disinfecting shower) and give him his night-time bottle. MashAllah- dressed in his form fitting, pale aqua and yellow duckling fleece feeties, he sunk into my arms like a warm loaf of bread, and just stared at me in the dark. just looking, and connecting. I wept uncontrollably as I imagined that his big black liquid eyes and paint brush lashes were telling me that he missed me today (I slept all day whilst iH tended to him). His lids kept drifting and drifting until he could no longer fight off slumber. I let him stay in my arms for about a half hour (he was sweating), as I could not stop admiring him and thanking Allah for this beautiful grant He has bestowed upon us. Holding him, and rocking instantly made me feel better. His cute little body and round chubby cheeks are like an instant band-aid. Yes that's it, he is my little band-aid.

Moving on, shout out to AMW/owner of ALL MUSLIMAH BLOGS- I want so badly to visit your site, but every time I do, my internet explorer browser goes bananas! Any suggestions? The problem occurs when I try to close your page. All of sudden, it just keeps reloading page after page, and before you know IE has launched itself 20 or 30 times! Anyone have any insight? I miss reading Brandy's entries.

Duaa request: iH has a second interview this week with a health care facility he has been wanting to work for, for about 7 months (his current job really stinks). Please please please make even the tiniest dua that everything works out for the best, as there a few complicated issues. May Allah swt in return for your duaas. I really believe he is deserving of this new and exciting opportunity. Only Allah knows what is best for him/us.

Shout out to Jibbly & Mumina, where ya been?