Hijabification

I need to give thanks. Right now. This very second. Alhamdulillah infinity.

My God, what have I done to deserve such good things? I often feel I am not living the way you want me to.

I have never been more in love in my life. Our son is on the cusp of 19 months old, and he is the purest joy, the purest love, the purest laughter, and the purest light. There are times when I cannot wrap my brain around the love I have for him. Its endless, timeless, and transcends the boundaries of my heart. His belly laughter slays me. His scent is sublime. There is still some evidence of status chubbicus left (aka chubby thighs, cheeks and tooshy) although they are dimishing rapidly since he has taken to running, climbing and jumping non-stop.

After his birth the depression set in, and it took a while to lift. When I look back I feel guilty for having complained about it, and for having felt so deprived of a naturual birth and crying endlessly over nursing struggles. Whatever it was, it was all God's plan. I realize now I had a failed induction and that's that. Ive accpepted it for what it is, I cant change it and there are no do-overs. Having a c-section meant we were saved from other complications and meant that my son would makes swift entrance into this world with literally no more stress. Why couldnt I see this then? My mind was clouded by fatigue, baby blues, and unrealistc expectations. In the end we were granted a full-term healthy baby boy, and that is truest blessing ever.

Im not sure what prompted this post. I suspect its due to reading some very heartbreaking things in the news and the blogosphere. I also suspect my thoughts are in part influenced by our upcoming move this weekend. We are leaving the place that our baby knows as home. This is where we brought him to begin our journey. This is where he slumbered like a prince in his bassinette, in the center of the living room, whilst our loved ones streamed in and out to admire him, and profess their insane love for him. I also suspect that my feelings are brought forth by our impending Eid Kabir InshaAllah. What more appropriate time to think about our children, when Ibrahim agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice for the love and sake of Allah swt?

We are goingn to start building memories someplace else now. InshaAllah it will be happy memories. We are going to build a future someplace else now (down the road lol), InshaAllah it will be a bright and rewarding future.

I'll probably be without internet for a bit starting on Eid- so InshaAllah I hope you all have a blessed Eid Al Adha. Enjoy one another. I cant wait to hear Takbir at the masjid if we can go!

Assalamu alaykum,

iMuslimah & Co.

Assalamu alaykum one and all.

Inspired by the most humble and honest thoughts by Sister Fuzzy http://asks-muslimah.blogspot.com/2009/03/age-old-debate_26.html , I have the urge to share my own thoughts and feelings about being Muslim, observing hijab, and the impact it has on my daily life....

I am a revert to Islam since August 2005. I was born in and have lived in the USA my whole life. While there is no doubt that there is a lasting western influence in my lifestyle, I was pretty much modestly fashionable. Being a fuller figure/well nourished woman, I was more than aware of my body type and always wanted to look feminine, yet appropriate. I enjoyed getting my hair done, wearing nail polish, and generally took pride in my appearance. I felt lovely and soft.

Since wearing hijab, many blessings have come into my life; a thriving relationship with my husband, a beautiful little boy, a promotion at work, and people accepting for who I am and what I believe in, rather than what I look like. This is the ultimate freedom. Will life always be this easy? Inshaallah- but if not, my hijab will remind me that my faith is more important than anything, and like all things, doing them with GOD in my life will certainly make them worthwhile and ultimately to my benefit, whether it be in this life or the next.


Since wearing hijab, I've noticed that I do not like my appearance at home, when I am not wearing it. My hair is matted to my head to the point where I can't even style it without washing it all over again. I look like a pathetic drowned water rat. There is no recovery from a look this bad. Honestly, by the end of a day off ( I am only home 2 nights a week, working full-time evenings)- the last thing I feel like doing is re-styling my locks or putting on make-up to spice things up. I know in my heart, in the recesses of my soul, that my husband, unquestionably loves me and is indeed attracted to me. The problem is that I am not attracted to me. It has gotten worse since the birth of my 11 month son. Now, I truly do not have a minute to spare without sacrificing something else that needs to be done. Ive manage to carve out about an hour at the end of my night (1 to 2am) where I just do "me" things....read the news, pluck the brows, take a long shower or blog a bit. That's it.

I also feel frumpy. I don't feel that my current wardrobe is very fashionable, because I believe I should keep things simple. Is that an excuse? Sound like one. Do I have the energy to put something together that is cuter? Not really. I don't wear an abaya; I am just not comfortable with it. I do own a few beautiful ones, and wear them on special occasions. Maybe someday I will be willing to wear abays, but for now it takes me deep into the discomfot zone. Every spring and summer I painfully hunt mainstream clothing stores for items that are appropriate for hijab. Sometimes I get lucky, and sometimes I don't. I get frustrated and depressed. I feel like I wear the same things over and over again, just in different colors! I have found a few lovely, long tunics at Shukr, and I have a plethora of long skirts. This spring I should have a greater variety of things to wear.

Going to work is a breeze- I wear scrubs and a lab coat down to my knees. I don't have to worry about coverage, as it is madatory for us to wear these things. They are actually quite comfy, and very loose fitting. I like to match my Al Amira undercaps to my scrubs LOL. Now that I am verbalizing these things, it has dawned on me that A) I am perpetually exahusted and nothing is appealing when you're tired B) I work five nights per week, and really only worry about weekend wardrobes which might be part of the reason I am lacking in this department. I dont get dressed up often enough.

How do I get to any resemblance of my former self? Is it even possible? I suppose someday inshaallah my work schedule will ease, and there will be time. For now- these days.......there are only two things I can guarantee when it comes to self caring; #1 showering #2 good oral hygiene and a basic skin care regimen. That's what gets my free time!

After writing this, I don't feel so bad.....

Oh yeah, I have a wedding to go to in July. This should send me in a wicked fit trying to find something appropriate and nice. Wish me luck. Better yet, wish my husband luck. Poor unsuspecting soul of the "I have nothing to wear" wilderbeast that is about to rear it's ugly head.

Salaams peeps.

Been real busy the past 2 weeks. I am now realizing this is my life, and it is only going to get busier as iBaby gets older!

Re: previous post "Five Minute Face", the Morgan Schick Hi-Def is drying my skin out, probably wont use it anymore.

The holidays are upon us all, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to get out from underneath the great opressor "Christmas". I find it to be a suffocating time of year, and I am looking forward to it's passing. Inshaallah I am eager to greet 2009!

My husband is miserable at his job. Alhamdulillah it is a job, but it is just awful. He is currently seeking new employment, so please keep us in your dua's.

Inshaallah I will meet my brother-in-law for the first time next week. Yay! My husband hasn't seen him in eight years. He is coming for a visit, and I am excited for my husband and my son. This should be a really joyful time. Thank you Allah.

iBaby is getting huge. Growing like a weed! Last well visit he weighed in at 19 lbs 11 oz and 29 1/2 inches long. That was three weeks ago. I am certain he is closer to 21lbs now. All of a sudden his sleeves are short and his onsies dont snap so easily. Mashaallah. He will be 7 months old next week. If he is in my husbands arms, he reaches out for me and vice vera- its a very cute game he likes to play with us. He also will lay his head on my should if I ask him "will you please give mommy a little hug?" He looks absolutely sublime in his red fleece feetie pajamas with monkeys all over them. May Allah bless his sweet little heart, he is the joy of my life.

Ameen.

Assalamu alaykum,


I pose a question fellow muslimahs: do you feel it is necessary for elementary aged girls to wear hijab to a muslim school (mainly pre-pubescent aged?) My little guy is only 6 months old, but the demand for muslim pre-school and grammar school is high because there aren't many instituions. I thought I would familiarize myself with what's available to us and what resources we will need. I happen to notice that the dress code requires hijabs for all girls. I don't have a daughter, but it did cause me to think.


I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I think it is very good for little girls to see the reasoning behind hijab at an early age, especially since I am a hijabi, and then on the other hand, I am not sure that a small child is really able to wrap their brain around the concept and practice, and therefore it wouldn't be meaningful to them. I never want my child to do something "just because" when it comes to something this important.


If Allah blesses me with a daughter someday, of course I want her to practice hijab, but I want her to feel empowered and choose to wear it. I don't want to mandate that she wear it. I believe that if I am a positive role model, and she is taught about the love and grace in Islam, and the importance of hijab/purity/preserving one's awra, I would hope that she would wear it with ease.


I feel wishy washy, what's your opinion? What is your experience? Do you think your reversion to Islam, or being born into a Muslim family is a factor?

Assalamu alaykum!

As'salamu alaykum ;)

For those of you who have been kind enough to read my pointless blog, I thank you.

We are expecting our first munchkin, and while I am in my mid thirties and have had the benefit of watching my siblings raise their children; I don't REALLY know what to expect. Here I am, with my unborn son squirming around in my belly, loving him endlessly and wishing my due date would get here. I have this intimate relationship with him already, but once again, I have no idea what comes next.

I will love him more than life.

My love for my husband will continue to increase exponentially.

I am willing to LIVE for my son, not just give my life.

I will love rocking him to sleep.

I will be nervous about so many people holding him.

I will be anxious to inspect him from head to toe at birth.

I think his hair will be as fine as kitten fur.

I will experience true exhaustion like never before.

I will feel guilty and cry my eyes out when I return to work full-time.

I will forever cherish this gift that Allah swt has bestowed upon us.

That's about all I know right now. I hope I am right. Inshallah I hope it's better than what I think I know. Alhamdulillah for everything.